Sigh

Talking to my family can be so frustrating sometimes. Just got off the phone with them...and I just don't get it. My mother was talking about stephen and tracy's recent visit, and she was upset because of what he ate, what he didn't eat, not wanting coffee or tea....and I guess I just don't understand why that stuff makes her mad. Why does it affect her?

Really, I think it is because she is very unhappy with her life. She doesn't do much exciting, and right now where she still can't do anything for long periods of time, it compounds the problem. I have always felt she likes to find things to criticize. Does this make her feel better? Or more important, or more self righteous?

Sometimes, I feel like we are standing on opposite sides of a deep chasm, and we say things and the other one just doesn't hear. I know she doesn't understand me, or how I live my life. I think she really wants to be needed, and I think she really wants to have a more important role in my life. One where I confide in her, seek her opinion, and most importantly do what She would do. I know she means well, and I know she feels cut off from my life in some ways, but we are very different, and I definitely don't seek her opinion or her advice. I know that works better for me, and I feel bad that she feels she doesn't fit into my life, but we really have very little in common. Sometimes just finding things to talk about can be challenging.

I'm hoping next weekend's visit will go well, and I hope we can all get along and not have any conflicts. I'm hoping we can have fun. I'm going to bring my running gear, which will certainly help keep me in a good mood. But we shall see.

"She knows how to push your buttons. She installed them" --Kathryn at work. I just have to try and not let my buttons get pushed...