it's been a year

since my dad called me to tell me mom was in the hospital, after having a seizure and fracturing her back. I wanted to fly back right away, but my dad said she was stable and I couldn't really do anything to help. That was one of the first times I really wondered if it was good that we were out here.

They never found out why she had the seizure, and they never found anything wrong from their tests (although I still wish they had gone to Boston for her care instead of Jordan Hospital on the South Shore). And she's been on anti-seizure medication since then, and her "levels" are mostly ok, I don't know levels of what, but her doctors seem ok with where they are.

She had to go six months without driving, asking my aunt or coworkers to take her to and from work, or to go out on errands. Having to ask for help like that all the time was really hard for her, because she went from being somewhat independent to relying on everyone else to help her until she was cleared to drive again.

I know she's concerned about how it seems like she isn't as clear as she used to be, that she can't remember words, says the wrong thing, or can't remember what she was doing. I try to tell her that it happens to everyone, including me, because I know it scares her, but I do see her not being able to remember the correct word, and repeating herself more. It concerns me. It also worries her because she works as a bank teller, and she's been not balancing more lately. I know she used to go almost a year hardly being off balance at all, and now it is happening more frequently, and she is worried about losing her job. I know their money situation is hard enough, that I have to really hope that doesn't happen.

She is supposed to meet with a new neurologist in a few weeks, and they are talking about switching her to a different seizure medication, which hopefully will help her feel more clear-headed.

It's so hard to watch her getting older and watch her struggle with her health.