Why I hate telling my mother things

Ug.

My mom often accuses me of not telling her things, or not telling her things until after the fact. She has asked me why I feel like I can't tell her things, or why I feel like I need to be perfect for them.

Well, there's a good reason for that. I tell her what's going on in my life, and she judges me, criticizes, finds the negative, and then tells me that I'm putting all this stress on her.

Take yesterday. So I gave my notice a few weeks ago. Well, I hadn't told her yet, because I didn't want to have to deal with the conversation. But since this is my last week and my work email will expire on Friday, I had to tell them.

So I told her how miserable I've been at my job, how much it was affecting me (all of which she knew -- her answer was always to just stick it out because everyone has a bad job. Not helpful, thanks). I told her how unfair it was to T.

Yesterday, I told her I gave them my notice, and I already have two different freelance contracts in place to start writing for them immediately, and I can make more than twice per hour compared to what I am making now. I stretched the truth and said I have a six month contract in place. It will probably be more like a four month contract that they will renew. I also told her I will be working with three different creative staffing agencies, who will all be looking for work for me.

She immediately started sounding stressed and upset and teary, saying you left without having a job? And well that's only for six-months, what will you do after that? And you won't have healthcare or vacation time.

And on and on. She only focused on the negative and the uncertain. I tried to tell her I couldn't wait until I found a job because there wouldn't be anything left of me. "You keep putting all this stress on me," was her response. Thanks, Mom.

She made it out like I am irresponsible, like I'm being stupid and foolhardy, and that I keep making bad decisions (I have left another job without another job lined up in the past, and I was out of work for about 6 weeks before I got hired at a great company, and T and I were fine financially. But nope, that was still a bad decision). She finally ended the conversation with, 'well, you know what's best I suppose, and I can't tell you anything anyway.' There wasn't anything I could say to make her see that this is a good thing.

This attitude doesn't make me want to tell her things that are going on in my life. Because not only did she treat me like a stupid kid who makes bad decisions, but she will throw this back in my face for ever now, no matter how good things get after this.