The more things change...

The more they stay the same? Or do they?

I was watching Mona Lisa Smile earlier this week, a movie I really enjoy. It is set in the 1950s, and Julia Roberts is a progressive art teacher at Wellesley. The girls in the movie are all really smart, but they aren't expected to do anything with that. They are all expected to get married and have families. They certainly aren't expected to have a career, and the thought of having a career and a family was definitely not typically considered.

Today, girls are practically expected to go to college and have a career. In fact, stay at home moms get snubbed or discredited a lot today, like they aren't real women or that they are setting back women's rights or something. But despite the fact that there is a much stronger focus on women working and having a career, they are still expected to get married and have kids. Only thing is now they are expected to do both.

Tim and I have been together for 3.5 years, and we've certainly got the "when are you going to get married" question more than once, mostly from my family, although from tim's family, coworkers and friends as well. We've also had the "when are you going to have kids" question raised.

Now, we are definitely planning on getting married, but we are in no real rush to do so. And we are emphatically NOT planning on having kids. There are more and more people who are choosing to take that path, but there is such societal pressure to be married and have a family. I know I personally have been told, "oh, you'll change your mind." I know other women who choose not to have kids get that and more.

So, what has really changed since the 1950s? Today's women are expected to be superwomen, strong career women, great wives, mothers. Why do so many people feel like they are "supposed to" have kids, "supposed to" get married? I really think a lot of people have kids, not necessarily because they want to (of course there are lots and lots of people who really do want kids), but because they feel like that is what is expected. Grow up, go to college, have a career, and then a certain point, you have to start having babies. Some women do it to save their marriage (never a good idea), but I know of lots of women who are on time tables, and a baby is definitely part of that schedule.

It's like society makes it out like you can't be complete unless you do so.

No real point or conclusion here, I guess, just some thoughts.