Family reunions

A question on journalprompts.com asked what you most dread about family reunions, and since my bday cookout will essentially be a family reunion with some friends there (fortunately!), it got me thinking.

One thing I really hate is everyone asking when Tim and I are going to get married, or even worse, asking when we are going to have kids.

First off, I don't really think it is any of their business, and when we know when we are going to get married, they will most likely know. I hate how people feel like it's ok to ask these questions, and don't seem to think it is rude.

Now, here's the thing. Tim and I have always known we planned on being together for the long haul. When we were still very new in our relationship (VERY new), Tim said that he wouldn't be surprised if he ended up marrying me. So it's not like the question is putting weird pressure on us.

But one of the main reasons we don't have any plans to get married anytime soon isn't a reason I want to discuss with family members. We know we will have to pay for the wedding ourselves. My parents financial situation isn't great. This isn't something I want to rub in my mom's face, nor is it something I want to tell other family members. I'm the only child, and the daughter to boot. I'm sure my parents had always thought they would pay for a wedding for me. I know my mom has probably had fantasies of planning my wedding for most of my life. (The fact that what I want for a wedding is VERY different from what my mom would want is another story). But since we will be the ones paying for it, we have to save up for it. And for a while, we were saving up money to buy a house, because we figured it would be better to buy a house before interest rates started going up really high again.

And now, we've just moved, and have pretty much wiped out the good sized savings we had. So we have to start growing our savings again. I just don't feel like getting into this with family members who seem to think we should be on a set schedule, but I don't have a really good answer, other than we're planning on it someday.

Then there is the kid question. We are not planning on having kids. Neither of us wants them. We are very happy having Myra and our eventual kitty. But again, I don't really want to get into it with people who just think that having kids is what you do, it's what is expected. Because any reason we give is met with disbelief and trying to convince us otherwise. Thanks, but since we would be the ones raising the kids, we will make that decision for ourselves. I really hate the kid question, because I can't even just give a simple, "we're not planning on kids" answer, because then you get the why and whole conversation goes downhill from there.

Tim of course doesn't hesitate to be blunt or to tell people it is none of their business. Me, I try to be more diplomatic but that seems to make me feel more uncomfortable.

I'll have to try think of some good duck n'dodge tactics...