friends and 'small town mentality'

We are still struggling somewhat to make new friends out here, although Tim met a cool guy yesterday at the dog park that he spoke to for almost two hours. This guy, Joel, and his wife sound pretty interesting, and Joel and Tim exchanged phone numbers. We are going to call them to meet us with their puppy at the dog park.

Joel said the same thing we have heard from many people here, that it is really hard to meet people in Portland. He gave the best explanation I've heard, and it seems to fit with what I have seen. He said that Portlanders very much have 'small town mentality,' in that they are nice and polite, but not open to outsiders. They don't let outsiders in very easily.

But, it sounds like Joel and his wife are frustrated with this as well and are looking for nice people to be friends with. I never would have thought that friends would be our biggest challenge. We are getting to be friends with Patrick and Sarah, but they are so busy with their house that they don't have a lot of time to hang out.

I was hopeful about Nell, it sounded like we had stuff in common and she sounded fun. But now I am thinking it might not work out. We've talked primarily on IM, and I think there were a few problems with that. One, I am used to talking to people on IM that I am already friends with, and who get my sense of humor and understand that I will just say weird things from time to time.

I also think I was trying to hard to make myself seem cool and interesting, because I was really interested in having a girl friend out here. I think the combination might have made me seem too eager, and possibly someone who is too bubbly or whatever. Our IM conversations have gotten considerably smaller, and I called her and she never called back.

I'm trying to decide if I want to say something, apologizing if I came across weird on IM, mainly because I'm used to people already getting how I talk and my sense of humor. But then I'm torn, should I even write anything at this point? She is starting a temp job at OHSU on Tuesday and I mentioned getting lunch, so maybe I will just wait to see if she contacts me? It all seems silly really, but I really do miss having someone other than Tim to hang out with sometimes. I think going back east only made it worse, because I forgot what it felt like to have a group of friends around, and people who were excited to spend time with me.

It will get sorted out, I just wish it was a little easier.