death of a friendship

My friendship with Lisa is over and I'm left feeling like I wasted a lot of time, for no real reason, and feeling like I never really knew her. I don't miss who she has become, but I miss who she was when we first met.

There was a time when I considered her my best friend. When it seemed we understood each other so well.

When we moved, I put a lot of effort into staying in touch. Cards, letters, e-mails. I gradually started to notice it wasn't being returned much. So I stopped writing as much. I stopped calling.

Then I started noticing that she disappeared whenever I was having problems, challenges, difficulties. Anything that made me "not fun Kelly." But whenever she had a problem, she would come crying to me. Every now and then, she would write and apologize for disappearing, because she was so busy and had so much going on, and we're still friends, right?

The distance grew, I stopped missing her and I started to put it behind me. I saw her when I went back in February, and even though we talked for hours, it felt...off. Now I realize the distance had grown and there was a lot we didn't know anymore.

But the final straw came this week. She sent me an e-mail asking how I was, and it was right after we had just heard from Dave that there was nothing more the doctors could do for Sarah, and we were just waiting for the bad news. I told her about that, about the stress of moving, our landlord, of coming up with the cost of an emergency ticket on top of a move, all of it. And not a fucking word.

I'm honestly not angry or hurt, because I've gone through those emotions with her so many times in the past few months. I don't feel anything now, I'm just done and have closed her out of my life forever. But I am just shocked that someone could be that rude, that insensitive. Even if I wasn't really good friends with someone and I heard that their boyfriend's best friend's wife was dying, I would tell them I was sorry to hear it. People continue to surprise me.