proud of my body

Today I had another Wellness in the Woods class, which I just love. It really helped clear my head from a crazy day, but even more than that, it really connected me to my body and made me proud of myself.

We did hill/trail runs and I felt great and ran the hills without stopping. I felt strong at the end of the run. We did ab work, on a mat on a hill, facing up and we had to be scooped in our stomachs, balancing while we pulled one leg in and pushed it out and repeated on the other side. I could do all of it, and didn't quit even though it burned. We had to hold side twists, doing 30 seconds on each side, and I didn't quit or stop.

We did sort of pull ups, and even though I had to stop and rest, I started doing it again. Then we did yoga, and I was more flexible than I thought and could hold poses without too much difficulty. At the end, we did deep stretches, and breathing exercises, and it was great to connect to my body like that, really aware of how I am feeling.

I can tell how much stronger I am now, and my attitude is better now about my body. I am not a size four anymore, I am a size six, and I think that is my natural/ideal size, and the only time I was a size four was when I was running all the time, and it was really hard to maintain. I'm not as lean as I was then, but I am more muscular, more defined, and I am learning to like my body more, especially the more I see what it can do. I still feel jealous when I see girls/women who are so skinny and lean, but I know I can't realistically obtain or maintain that look. I know there are certain stores that cater to girls/women who are very straight and narrow, and I have some curves, so those clothes will never fit me correctly. Since it depresses me to try on clothes in those stores, I just won't go in there anymore.