tired, but yay new friend

uggggggg so tired right now. woke up around 4 and it took me a long time to fall back asleep. I think I woke up because I was hot, and then just couldn't fall back asleep. And of course, today I have nothing but meetings. I'm seeing a fair amount of coffee in my future.

I met Ava last night and had a really great time. We went to this tea shop in Nob Hill, and ended up talking for over two hours. I didn't get home till almost 10. She is very sweet, and fun to talk to. We are already planning to get together, her and her husband and me and Tim next week for dinner. And she is in a production of the Vagina Monologues which I will definitely go to. It was really good to be out with a girl. I think I am liking this having friends thing again. :)

perfect sleep...ruined by alarm

normally, or at least lately, I toss and turn a lot at night. Even though our bed is super comfortable, I usually end up stirring frequently. Or I will wake up in the middle of the night and lie awake for a long time before I go back to sleep.

I slept so well last night, I was so comfortable-- not too hot, not squished from Myra. Purr.Sigh. Then my alarm goes off. I still could have gone back to sleep easily, but no...I have to be a grown up and go to work. Sucks some times :)

a very good weekend

Split splat go the raindrops. While I won't deny I miss the sun at times, the rain sounds very comforting when I am going to bed, and on weekends when I can stay in bed, it makes me feel very snuggly.

Holy cow, we had an earthquake. It was a baby one, but the house very definitely shook, it felt like a giant had grabbed hold of the house and was trying to shake it like you shake snowglobes. It wasn't even big enough to knock anything off walls or the desks, but it was still a weird feeling. I think I will keep California as a visiting place, not a living place, thank you very much.

But we had such a nice weekend. Friday, we stayed in and watched Gilmore Girls. Saturday, I was really not looking forward to going to the movies with Danielle, and I was crabby because I hadn't gone grocery shopping yet and therefore didn't have any food I wanted.

But surprise, I had a really good time. We saw Nanny McPhee, and even though it was a very rainy Saturday afternoon, and the theater was packed with kids, they were all really good and not screechy. The movie was funny, Emma Thompson was wonderful.

I came home, napped for a bit, and was feeling generally wishywashy about going to the Girls Night out thing. I reread the bios of some of the people who were going, and they were all older, mostly late 30s, early 40s, and I didn't see myself having a lot in common with them.

So, I ditched girls night, and Tim and I went to Kells, a really great Irish pub in downtown, with live Irish music every night. The music was great, I can't wait to go back during the week, it was packed when we were there. We had so much fun. I feel like I'm starting to discover all these cool areas of Portland, and I can't wait to do more.

I am possibly meeting Ava tomorrow night, and I am meeting Tawny Tuesday night. My ad seems to have attracted very cool, like-minded people, and I am looking forward to getting to know them. Tim is going to go out with Joel to watch hockey, probably while I am gone, and that is good too.

Myra put herself to bed tonight at 6 pm. She is in her crate, mostly asleep, and very happy when we bring her her felix and close her crate door. She is so impossibly cute, and such a good dog. It is so cute when she puts herself to bed.

personality test

Your Personality Profile

You are dreamy, peaceful, and young at heart. Optimistic and caring, you tend to see the best in people. You tend to be always smiling - and making others smile. You are shy and intelligent... and a very hard worker. You're also funny, but many people don't see your funny side. Your subtle dry humor leaves your close friends in stitches.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

hooray!

Had a friend date with Nell, and had a really nice time. We went to this amazing vietnamese restaurant, and I ordered sweet and sour tofu, and she ordered mock duck curry and we shared. The food was great, and it was cool to talk to her more. I didn't realize I missed talking to girls, but I did.

It takes her a little while to warm up, but once she did, she was sweet. She invited Tim and I to go out dancing for 80s night tomorrow, and I think we will go, at least for an hour. And she was making references to future plans, so I think she had fun too. One of the places she wants to go to is called Pick, and according to Nell, they have orgasmic desserts. Desserts you don't need sex for a week after, they are so good. Needless to say, I said I would be happy to go there sometime and try some of the desserts. We were going to go tonight, but we were full from dinner.

I also found us a near area to check out for our next house. She lives in Southeast, somewhat near Hawthorne. The houses were really nice, there seems to be a lot of cool restaurants and coffee shops in the area, but the residential parts are still quiet. I liked that area a lot. I am going to take Tim there on Sunday and wander around.

And....Tim got his Kangoo Jump shoes! He is really excited for them. I got home and tried them on, and I can't wait to get my own pair. They are heavy at first, but when they are on, they don't feel heavy at all. It is a neat sensation, and I tried taking a few running steps in the kitchen, and I will love running in these. And I think Tim will be able to start running more, because I don't think he will have any pain. They make you ginormous though, it was weird to be so tall, and so high off the ground and yet not feel like I was going to fall over.

All in all, a good end to the day!

bad blogger...and opening the friend gates

Hello blog! How i missed you! Did you miss me as well?

I haven't been on in a few days and by yesterday I was really starting to miss blogging. It is just such a good way for me to get out of some of the noise in my head, maybe make sense of it.

I have made good progress in meeting some new friends out here. I finally met Nell, we got lunch earlier in the week. At first, she was very West Coast Flat. Not reacting to much, not very engaging. West Coast Flat is soo hard to work with, hard to get a proper conversation going.

But towards the end of the conversation, she started to warm up and seemed nicer and more fun. We are supposed to go out tonight for dinner at this Vietnamese restaurant with great veggie options. Nell has been there and said the food is amazing, I am looking forward to trying it.

My craigslist ad seems to have been successful. I had a number of girls write back who sound interesting, upbeat and fun. I've been talking a lot with Teresa, who seems very nice, but I get the feeling she is very impressed with being smart and tries to show it off. So far, I think Tawny is the winner, she is my age, loves trying new stuff (like sky diving) and has been to 17 different countries.

I am definitely excited at the prospect of having girls to talk to and hang out with again, but it's weird also. It has been just Tim and me for so long now, that it feels hard to break out of that safety/comfort zone. And I think Tim might feel slightly left out, because he still isn't really meeting people (other than Joel at the dog park.) It will come in time, but like any new thing, it feels weird/hard at first.

interesting dream on gratitude

For a dream that started out scary and violent, it turned out pretty cool.

It seems the devil had taken over. There was a lot of destruction, and killing of people. One particularly horrifying scene was I was in this room with a group of other people, and a little boy was singled out to go to a different room. His mother went with him, but once the doors closed, you could hear the boy crying and screaming and I knew he was killed.

Then, everyone (from the town?) was sitting in what looked like a church, but the devil was in control. He had essentially got to everyone, and they were all lost, thinking about the saddest and most painful memories of their lives, essentially feeling hopeless.

So I started walking around to everyone, telling them what I was grateful for. The more I did it, the more frustrated the devil became. But I kept talking, telling everyone that they can choose what they focus on in life. They can choose pain or sadness, or they can choose gratitude. I told them it didn't have to be big things they were grateful for, but they needed to find at least one thing they were grateful and happy for, and focus on that. More and more people started finding at least one thing they were grateful for, and soon, the devil had lost all control over them.

I really believe in the message of that dream. Life isn't always roses and perfect, but you have to power to focus on what you want. If you focus on how things aren't what you want, or things aren't working out how you envisioned, then that becomes all you see. But if you find the positive, and focus on that, it becomes easier to see more positive, and then it is easier to focus on making positive changes.

do nothing day, but extending the friend branch

I was going to say I can't believe I slept almost all day, but this is me, I really shouldn't be surprised by that anymore. I got up around 10:30, lounged around till 1:30 or so, then promptly fell asleep for two hours. So now it is 5:30 and I have done really nothing all day. While I would have liked to been a bit more productive, I didn't mind getting some rest. It's tough to be part cat. The sad part is I still feel tired. I am going to assume that is because I haven't eaten much or had much water today.

But...I have made efforts to make friends out here. Tim helped me write a craigslist posting. I decided that this would give me a little more control over the process, and maybe pop up some people I wouldn't find otherwise. I am getting tired of having no one here to hang out with, and I feel good that I finally put up a posting.

I've had three girls write back already, one who sounds really fun and like someone I would enjoy spending time with, one who is younger and could be ok, and one who is my age, comes across in emails as funny and smart, but we'll see how we hit it off. She doesn't look like a fun or silly friend, but maybe having a more serious friend isn't so bad either. And if none of them work out, at least I made an effort. And next Saturday, I am going to be brave and go to a girls night out with women I don't know. That is big for me in several ways, because I rarely do group things, especially group things where I really don't know anyone. But being brave and forcing myself to not be shy is a good thing. And again, I might or might not meet anyone, but getting out has to be good.

body image and words of wisdom

I had class last night, first time in two weeks. Overall, I think I am getting better at the moves and can do more of the conditioning. Of course, at one point I had to stop altogether because I felt lightheaded and woozy. I don't know if that was from being sick over the weekend, not doing it for two weeks, or from hitting my head on the locker really hard before class. But I did finish the class, so that was a little better.

There was this girl in front of me, thin, great arms, just wearing a long sports bar and no top. She looked great, and of course I started comparing myself against her, and some of the other girls in the class. I felt fat and lumpy, not little or toned. I felt sad, frustrated with myself, and wanting to look like them.

When I told Tim, he said something that really made sense. He said I can't compare myself against them, because maybe they've been exercising longer than I have, maybe they have a smaller body frame. He said it's the same with people who are heavier than me, because maybe they haven't been exercising that long, maybe they have a condition that makes them heavier. He said I can only compare myself against myself, how I was a few months ago, how I was a year ago. How are my pants fitting today vs. a month ago? How am I feeling vs. three months ago? That is the only thing I can compare, because I know all the variables.

I've always looked at girls with "better" or "thinner" bodies, wishing I looked like them, but I never really stopped to think that I really can't compare. So I will try not to compare myself to others and just try to be happy with how I look, how I feel, and just keep improving.

ugg, groggy from dreams

Usually, I wake up before my alarm goes off, but today I was in the middle of a dream so now I just feel groggy and out of it.

I was back east, and something good happened to me (new job, graduated, I don't know what) and my friends were having a party for me. I wanted to stay but my parents were throwing me a party just an hour later and I had to go to that. I was expecting it to be all my parents' friends, but when I asked my mom who was coming, she invited all these "friends" that I am not friends with anymore and don't talk to. She started crying when I told her this, either because she felt like she didn't know me, or she felt like she couldn't make me happy.

I left the house and went for a walk, and while it was definitely the right street, it was a much smaller, cheaper and not nice house. It was super stormy, and the river at the bottom of my parents' street was flooded. I ended up feeling bad about how I acted about my mom's party and ended up going back.

Normally, I can't understand my dreams at all, but this one is pretty clear. My mom doesn't know me that well, she does stuff for me that I don't want, I tell her that, she gets upset and I end up doing what she wants to some extent. Sounds pretty typical of us. Ug. Can I go back to sleep now, please?

the sevens, courtesy of mikki

Seven things to do before I die:
1. See the great wall of china
2. Become a published author
3. Skydive
4. Scuba dive in Cozumel
5. Walk in spike heels and look sexy :)
6. Hold a baby tiger
7. Swim with dolphins

Seven things I cannot do:
1. Smoke
2. Drugs
3. Stop loving Tim
4. pee standing up or pee in the woods
5. math in my head
6. not be a kid
7. not be afraid of spiders

Seven things I do ritualistically everyday:
1. Tell Tim I love him
2. Play with Myra
3. Think about how much I like Portland, even when it is has been raining for a solid month
4. Get tucked in to bed by Tim
5. Check email
6. Look at clouds
7. Read

Seven things I say most often:
1. Boy!
2. Hi Sweetie P to Myra
3. It's green. Go. There you go.
4. I told Lisa...
5. It's wetting out
6. Hee
7. I love you

Seven books I love:
1. The Harry Potter Series – JK Rowling
2. Ella Enchanted
3. Illusions and One by Richard Bach
4. The Little Prince
5. Old Songs in a New Cafe
6. My best veggie cookbook!
7. It's not about the bike, Lance Armstrong

Seven movies I watch over and over again:
1. The Incredibles
2. Finding Nemo
3. Serendipity
4. Lord of the Rings
5. Princess Bride
6. Ever After
7. Pretty Woman

Sundays are...

for relaxing, for unwinding, for reading, for sprawling, for playing with Myra, for writing, for painting, for making time to do what I want to do, to celebrate my creativity, for cooking a new recipe, one that involves more time than I normally give to cooking.

I am setting a goal for Sundays (especially during football season, but really all year long)
I want the housework done, and grocery shopping done so I can do what I want and not feel bad about it. I want to do at least some writing and some painting. I want to go on a hike, with or without Myra, but I want to get out and explore a new trail or a new path. If I do this, I will start the work week refreshed, with my creativity sparked and my inner nature wildchild satisfied. This will keep me from being frustrated while Tim watches football and makes sure I get in time for what is important to me that I might not make the time for during the week.

friends and 'small town mentality'

We are still struggling somewhat to make new friends out here, although Tim met a cool guy yesterday at the dog park that he spoke to for almost two hours. This guy, Joel, and his wife sound pretty interesting, and Joel and Tim exchanged phone numbers. We are going to call them to meet us with their puppy at the dog park.

Joel said the same thing we have heard from many people here, that it is really hard to meet people in Portland. He gave the best explanation I've heard, and it seems to fit with what I have seen. He said that Portlanders very much have 'small town mentality,' in that they are nice and polite, but not open to outsiders. They don't let outsiders in very easily.

But, it sounds like Joel and his wife are frustrated with this as well and are looking for nice people to be friends with. I never would have thought that friends would be our biggest challenge. We are getting to be friends with Patrick and Sarah, but they are so busy with their house that they don't have a lot of time to hang out.

I was hopeful about Nell, it sounded like we had stuff in common and she sounded fun. But now I am thinking it might not work out. We've talked primarily on IM, and I think there were a few problems with that. One, I am used to talking to people on IM that I am already friends with, and who get my sense of humor and understand that I will just say weird things from time to time.

I also think I was trying to hard to make myself seem cool and interesting, because I was really interested in having a girl friend out here. I think the combination might have made me seem too eager, and possibly someone who is too bubbly or whatever. Our IM conversations have gotten considerably smaller, and I called her and she never called back.

I'm trying to decide if I want to say something, apologizing if I came across weird on IM, mainly because I'm used to people already getting how I talk and my sense of humor. But then I'm torn, should I even write anything at this point? She is starting a temp job at OHSU on Tuesday and I mentioned getting lunch, so maybe I will just wait to see if she contacts me? It all seems silly really, but I really do miss having someone other than Tim to hang out with sometimes. I think going back east only made it worse, because I forgot what it felt like to have a group of friends around, and people who were excited to spend time with me.

It will get sorted out, I just wish it was a little easier.

hate when life gets in the way

So, in the past two weeks, I've worked out four times. It's just so frustrating to be making progress and running regularly and then have life come in and mess it up. Granted, I was sick with stomach pains at the beginning of last week, then we flew out East. Between not sleeping well and not eating as well as we normally do, and having to get ready to see different people, it didn't make for good running conditions.

I ran once at my parents and felt great. Then it just seemed that I didn't have the time or energy. Then when I got back home, I was exhausted on Thursday and then sick yesterday. I even left work early because I was so sick. I just came home and slept for hours. So hopefully now that I am well rested and getting back to eating my normal food, I can get back on track with running. I think starting over with running will make me feel better again. I look at my body, and I see lumps and poufiness that I know were going away before my running took second place for a while. I hate that I judge my body so harshly, and I'm trying to be better about that. But it is just so much easier to like my body when I am treating it right.

woke up uneasy from dreams

I wish I knew why I dream the way I do, vivid, intense, real and fairly often disturbing. I think I get the first part, I have such a vivid imagination that it makes sense that my dream world is a very lively place. But the disturbing part?

I don't remember all the details of my dream, but it involved sports, and trying to hurt other players, and trying to blackmail them into things. I remember fleeing because I didn't want to be part of that anymore. Maybe it was lingering images from watching Unleashed the other night. The movie was sweet, and very different from what I expected, but still the violence was certainly disturbing. Sometimes I wish I could watch movies and not have the images stay with me and not come back to me in my dreams. But I guess I wouldn't be me if these things didn't bother me.

Now I just need to shake the lingering unease that I was left with when I woke.

randoms

1. whats your favourite colour to wear?
soft green or turquoise blue green

2. ever been on a cleanse? if yes how was it benefit wise?
Yes, but not intentionally, I needed a colonoscopy, so I couldn't eat for two days. At first, I felt lighter and like I was getting rid of all the bad stuff inside of me, but then I started to feel sick and weak.

3. what is your favourite healing choice? ( eg western, massage, homepathics etc)
Hm. I only really know western, but I've always figured Eastern methods of healing have been around a lot longer, but I think you have to find the right people for that.

4. 5 things u love about u?
My hair, my positive attitude, my ability to set goals for myself and achieve them (like moving across the country), my playfulness, and how much i can love

5. name one present u got for christmas last year?
My super soft light green and dark green scarf with sparkles, I love it!

6. when was the last time u swung on a swing?
Hm. Would have been when we were playing with myra at the school...a month maybe?

7. does your inner child come out to play? if yes name a few things it likes to do?
All the time! Swings, spins, flies when it is windy, running to playgrounds, playing hopscotch, dancing really silly, reading kids books...

8. U were walking through a beautiful park , people everywhere laughing, playing having a beautiful day and a child walks up to and hands you something. U open your hand and u see a ?
( what is the first thing that comes to mind)
A dandelion. I thank the child, smile big, and put it in my hair

9. have u ever sucked helium out of a balloon and talked?
Of course, it is fun to sound like daffy duck! But doing it all the time and wrecking your brain cells is just stupid

10. do u sleep easy?
I am part cat, so I can fall asleep almost anywhere, but sometimes it is hard for me to fall asleep at night, or stay asleep. I have such vivid, and often violent, dreams, that sometimes it is hard for me to get back to sleep. But naps, always

really home again

We got in last night from our trip back east, and had a really great trip. It was great to see everyone, my mom was relatively drama free, and even though we were really busy, we had a lot of fun.


But. Even as much as we missed hanging out with everyone, we couldn't wait to come home. There is no doubt that Portland is home now. Driving around, we both found Mass to be depressing, ugly, crowded, with wayyy too much traffic.


We missed the green of Portland, seeing trees and parks everywhere, how clean Portland is, and we certainly missed the weather. As soon as we landed in Boston, it was in the 30s and we were freezing waiting for our shuttle to Thrifty. The rest of the trip it wasn't that cold, but boy did I forget how those temperatures feel.

Tim and I talked about it a lot, and he was sort of preparing himself for what if we have to move back. In his mind, he was thinking...well, maybe we didn't give Mass a fair chance, everyone back there loves it, maybe we are just missing something.

But no. We really don't like it, and it really doesn't feel a part of us. Even though I grew up there, it didn't feel like home, and I don't think it ever really did. It was where I lived, but it was not where I wanted to be. Now that Tim has seen for himself that there is no way we could move back there, and realized how much he missed Portland, I think it will help him really settle out here. And now he's excited to really have our house set up, and find the perfect house for us when our lease is up.

It's good to be home...and soon, Myra will be home, and we can't wait to see her!

bad no running week and travels

My stupid stomach was messed up again this week, I couldn't run Monday or Tuesday because it hurt so much. I'm really tired of having stomach problems. Since my colonoscopy results were normal, I guess I need more tests to find out why I keep having these problems. Le sigh. I will go for more tests when I get back.

I planned to run yesterday after we got back from dropping off Myra at dog camp. But the owner, while a very nice man, is soo chatty. He does not understand exit cues. We ended up there for almost an hour, trying to leave for at least 40 minutes. How many ways can you politely say we need to leave? Maybe we just should have been forceful and just say we have to leave. But anyway, it was too late to run when we got home. I really want to run before we fly, but not positive we'll have time. Frickin frackin things getting in the way. I was doing so well. And I plan to bring my running clothes with me back east, but we'll see how much I get in. At least I got in a really good total gym workout, so at least my muscles got to do something...

It's weird not having Myra here, not checking on us or showing her toys. It definitely feels more like home with her here.

Uggg. I am really excited to see everyone back east, but the flight is always tough. I have a hard time sitting still that long, it makes me feel very twitchy. I don't know how sales guys do it, those who live in the air essentially. Flying just drains me, between sitting for so long, and the dry air, and the challenge to eat healthy. At least tim will be with me this time, it's nice to have someone to talk to! But at least the airports shouldn't be too busy.

glutton for punishment and other good things

Went to the killer cardio class tonight....the one with Black Woman Strut, Picking Bananas, Stomping Elephant, Gyrate and other silly names I have made up for the moves that we do. I feel like I can do the moves at least slightly better now, and I can certainly do the dance moves without resting and without feeling like I'm going to die.

And then we start the conditioning part of the class. Lunges, squats and leg lifts until every muscle is burning and I feel like I can't move. I still can't do all of the reps, but I think I am getting better about doing more of them. And tonight after the class, I didn't completely feel like jelly. I think this is a good thing. Of course, stairs will be fun tomorrow, but at least I know my muscles got a great workout.

I'm starting to feel in better shape again, I've been doing a good amount of strength training, and I've been consistent with running lately. I am very proud of that. And I can see the changes in my body again. That alone is motivation to keep running, going to class and doing total gym.

I've also been good about not really cheating and eating really healthy again. I feel so much better when I am taking good care of my body.

on being my mother

The other day, Tim asked me to stop bugging him to contact his friend Chris and invite her to McSwiggens on Saturday. Apparently, I had told him several times he needed to contact her, and I just kept pestering him about it. He finally told me to stop bugging him about, and that he knew he needed to contact her.

I know I nag him about stuff, but I don't think I'm quite aware of how often I do it. And he knows he proscrastinates, and he won't do anything until he feels like it. What he said hurt, because I know that is what my mother does with me. She hounds me about things, whether it's don't you want to eat this, i made this for you, don't you want to eat it? To..have you done this yet? You need to do it. Have you done it yet? Until I want to scream at her...NO! I haven't done it yet. I'll do it when I'm ready.

I guess that was how tim was feeling. But this is something I need to work on. I know from personal experience being nagged isn't fun, and nor is it likely to make the other person do anything. I'm going to try and listen to myself more, and try to catch the "nagger" before she escapes out of my mouth.

Sigh

Talking to my family can be so frustrating sometimes. Just got off the phone with them...and I just don't get it. My mother was talking about stephen and tracy's recent visit, and she was upset because of what he ate, what he didn't eat, not wanting coffee or tea....and I guess I just don't understand why that stuff makes her mad. Why does it affect her?

Really, I think it is because she is very unhappy with her life. She doesn't do much exciting, and right now where she still can't do anything for long periods of time, it compounds the problem. I have always felt she likes to find things to criticize. Does this make her feel better? Or more important, or more self righteous?

Sometimes, I feel like we are standing on opposite sides of a deep chasm, and we say things and the other one just doesn't hear. I know she doesn't understand me, or how I live my life. I think she really wants to be needed, and I think she really wants to have a more important role in my life. One where I confide in her, seek her opinion, and most importantly do what She would do. I know she means well, and I know she feels cut off from my life in some ways, but we are very different, and I definitely don't seek her opinion or her advice. I know that works better for me, and I feel bad that she feels she doesn't fit into my life, but we really have very little in common. Sometimes just finding things to talk about can be challenging.

I'm hoping next weekend's visit will go well, and I hope we can all get along and not have any conflicts. I'm hoping we can have fun. I'm going to bring my running gear, which will certainly help keep me in a good mood. But we shall see.

"She knows how to push your buttons. She installed them" --Kathryn at work. I just have to try and not let my buttons get pushed...

Starting a new year

We had a lovely first New Year's Eve in Portland. We didn't go on our new year's run or go downtown, but I really enjoyed what we did.

We listed out what we want to do as New Year's Eve traditions.

Every year on new year's, we will: go for a run, go out to an early dinner where we both get something we've never had before, head to the zoo to see the zoo lights, go out to a bar and get a drink or two. While we are out, we will plan out some goals for the next year, and plan out what we will need for a new hobby we will try. For 2006, it looks like it is going to be kangoo jumps!! Yay. After that, we will come home, play games till midnight and then go for a short walk.

Oy. We went to the cheesecake factory last night around 9:30. I had an awesome lettuce, asparagus and goat cheese salad, and a lovely melon martini. I am such a lightweight! Before I even had half of the martini, my head was spinning. Then we split chocolate tuxedo cheesecake...and we both felt so full and gross. I was so tired from the martini, it was all I could do to stay up till midnight. I am so excited we don't have any sugar at home, I really am looking forward to very healthy eating again.

We went to the mall Friday night, and I felt like I had gluttoned on both spending money and eating bad food. There isn't anything I want to buy, and seeing how I felt last night after the cheesecake is enough to know that yes, I need to cut the sugar for a while. I feel so much better when I do.

Tim challenged me to try and write one page a day, on my stories. Or one page of story planning and outlines. This could be a tough challenge, but like I told him last night, I have so many children's book ideas in my head, I would like I am wasting them if I don't start writing them down.