Final countdown

10 more days of Michele, and her rude, pretentious, condescending attitude, constant complaining, and really bad music.

10 more days of Danielle, acting like it is beneath her to do the secretarial part of her job, acting like everything is all about her, acting like she runs the entire department

10 more days of hearing all the time how things aren't working, hearing about the fighting

10 more days. And I couldn't be happier.

And then after that....I can work from home, and my money situation will improve, and my work stress will pretty much disappear.

The joy of playing hooky

Tim convinced me to play hooky on Friday, saying I was going to lose my sick time anyway when I left (2 weeks whoohooo!!). I lounged around all morning reading, we went to one of our favorite places for breakfast (Genie's, right around the corner)-- I had a wonderful vegetarian eggs benedict, tim had cinnamon honey french toast that was divine. We had planned to go down to the outlets and go shopping, but by the time we picked up Myra from school, we only would have had a little under 2 hours there before we had to head home.

We went to the Lloyd mall instead (I never feel as white I do when I'm at this mall) and I bought some new sweaters. I bought them from this Mom store, and in fact there were a lot of older women shopping in there. Despite that, they had some decent prices on basic things and the sweaters I got were cute. How sad is that that I did better in the mom clothing store than in Forever 21, where there wasn't anything I would ever wear? Oh well.

I still need to go shopping for more fall and winter clothes, but I'm waiting to hear about the Umpqua bank job first, because if I'm just going to be freelancing, I need more play clothes, but If I get a job there, I need more dress clothes.

Friday night, Annette came over for dinnner. She was the temp who took over for Danielle while Danielle was in Scotland for two weeks. Annette is a cool older lady (she's my mom's age). She lived in Paris for 12 years, she's a professional jazz singer and has worked with a lot of big name jazz people. She's very outspoken. We had a nice dinner, although she is incredibly chatty. But still, it was a nice evening. It felt great having a hooky day with Tim, since he watches football all day on Sundays now, I miss these kind of days with him.

Myra doesn't understand daylight savings

She is on such a routine. The fact that we turned the clocks back an hour hasn't thrown off that routine. This morning she woke up when she usually does, except instead of 7:20 it was 6:20. Yesterday, she started staring at us to give her lunch around 10:15 in the morning, because she usually starts trying to get it around 11:30.

I wonder how long it will take her to get back on her regular schedule, moved back an hour.

learning to fly

"I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings. Coming down is the hardest thing.

So I started out for god know's where, I guess I'll know when I get there. I'm learning to fly around the clouds."

I've always liked this tom petty song, and it's felt like something I could relate to at different points in my life, and now as I get ready to embark on a new job adventure, I definitely feel like it is true again...learning to fly without a safety net, learning to fly around my problems and heading down a path that I don't know where it's going, but looking forward to the journey.

:)

routines and rituals

Myra is a pup who loves her routine. She knows what time she is supposed to go to bed, she knows exactly when it is meal time (although she starts pulling the poor starving pup routine a good half hour to an hour before actual meal time lol). And she knows that when she goes to bed in her crate, when she wakes up, she goes out to pee and then she gets to sleep on the bed with Mama. That is the routine.

Last night, she got up on the bed but I wasn't ready for bed yet. She wouldn't settle, she kept getting down and going back up. Finally, she comes into the living room, and stares at me and when I get up and go toward the bedroom, she jumps on the bed, all happy. I clearly messed up her world by not getting right into bed with her. LOL.

knit one, bitch two

I went to my friend lisa's house last night for Stitch n bitch -- lisa, her friend franny, me and knitting. Lisa and Franny showed me how to knit (I used to do some knitting in junior high, but I never really knew how to begin or end, so it really didn't count). It was awkward, but I managed to make some progress, and they both said I picked it up pretty fast.

So now I have visions of warm scarves dancing in my head :)

If I get good at knitting, watch out people, you might get homemade gifts!

Saturday was such a great day

Woke up tired and feeling blah-ish, and not wanting to meet a friend for our Saturday morning run in the woods. But I ended up going, with another friend, and several other women from our Saturday outdoors exercise class joined us (the instructor is travelling, but we decided to meet anyway).

Had a great workout. Ran in the woods for almost an hour. Did a bunch of plies and lunges and squats and standing push ups and stretching and felt alive and clean and healthy. It was longer than we normally run, and there were quite a few hills, but it felt so good to know I can still run for that long and that far.

Went for coffee with my friend after our workout, and had fun catching up with her.

The boy vaccuumed and folded laundry. Love him!

Later, we went back to the park where I ran in the morning and had a nice walk. Went to the mall where I got very yummy smelling cranberry body butter from The Body Shop. I love fall scents.

Then we went to Powells. I just absolutely love this bookstore, it makes me so excited to go there. Four floors. An entire city block. Bookshelves up to the ceiling on every floor. Used books right next to new books on the shelves. I've lived in Portland for over a year and I still haven't come close to seeing all of this bookstore. Sheer book heaven. I bought the complete chronicles of narnia, the sisterhood of the travelling pants, and a fun fantasy book. Hooray!

After Powells, I dragged the boy to the gelato place across the street. mmmm. droool.

hear that sucking sound?

That would be the giant vacuum that sucks up my weekends. I don't know exactly what I do, because I never seem to do what I plan on doing, but somehow, I get through the weekend without really knowing how the time disappeared. Did some journalling, played online, played with the pup, but it doesn't seem enough to eat my whole weekend. Oh well, at least it was pretty relaxing. lol

my food yesterday

Protein shake. 3 donuts (from this place in NE that makes the best donuts in the entire world, fresh, light, not greasy, not heavy-- but still, three??). Salad of mostly lettuce. Several cut pieces of pita and hummus.

NOT a good way to feed my body, especially since I went for a trail run yesterday morning. I don't know why I never seem to eat on weekends. Well, the fact that I never went grocery shopping last weekend and when I went during the week, I only bought enough food for a few days might have something to do with yesterday.

Oh well. Getting back on track today!

so cute my heart breaks

Came into bed last night and myra was sprawled on the bed, up near the pillows. She looked very happy that she had taken up most of the bed. She graciously left me a very narrow space to lay down. And she promptly put her head on my legs and slept with my arm around her.

melt.

dreams

I keep dreaming about my parents, specifically about their health and their finances, the two things I worry about the most for them. While I always sort of worry about their finances, these dreams probably started up again when my mom asked me for our christmas lists. I just hate that no matter what I say or do, she's going to spend more than she should on us, because she somehow thinks it is important. She really doesn't understand that I would be fine with a couple books and dvds. But even though their money situation is not good and they don't really have extra money anymore, they still keep spending money and putting things on credit cards.

I just wish they would pull their heads out of the sand and start making financial decisions for the future. But I can't control it, so I just worry about it. And dream about them spending foolishly and yell at them in my dreams, which is the only place it seems I can yell at them because they don't hear me in real life.

And my mom's health. She's doing mostly ok, but her memory isn't great and I know it upsets her, and it is still hard for her to do things physically. So I dream about her telling me she's worried about her health, or dream that she has more problems.

I hate worrying about things I can't control, but I don't know how to just let it go. Sigh

keep dreaming

about Brian, my college boyfriend. Dreams where I am looking for him, dreams where I run into him and we start talking and still feel drawn to each other.

It happens fairly regularly. It's odd, because I don't want to be back with him.

Hrmm.

Dogs R Us

From Dog Fancy Magazine...Portland was ranked the most dog friendly city! I can't say I'm surprised. Back east in Mass, there is nothing to compare how dog-friendly Portland is. There are off-leash dog parks all over the city, dog daycares in almost every neighborhood, coffee shops that have dog treats available, stores all over that leave water out for dogs, restaurants and businesses where you can bring your dog in with you, not to mention the tons of hiking trails that are everywhere, and the fact that you see so many people with dogs but rarely find poo lying around. I love it. Yay Portland!

www.dogfancy.com

Welcome to DogTown USA
The City of Roses tops the list of this year's dog-friendliest towns.
By Kyra Kirkwood

"Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, be it ever so humble, there's no place like home." These words by John Howard Payne echo in the barks of dogs living in canine-friendly towns and cities throughout the United States.

In DOG FANCY's second annual DogTown USA contest, we researched, ranked, and rated cities across the nation to discover the best of the best. During our evaluation, we considered access to top veterinary professionals, dog parks, and canine-friendly businesses, as well as shelter-euthanasia rates and owner responsibility. No bone was left unburied.

Although our top cities vary in location, climate, and general atmosphere, nearly all have one thing in common: Dogs are not just possessions, but family members. So where is DogTown USA this year? We chose Portland, Ore., for its unmatched geography, trend-setting attitude, and general canine-centric perfection.

time for gratitude

Since I've been feeling off, down, and just generally not like me, I think it is time for a gratitude list to refocus me on all the positive things I have in my life.

Today, I'm grateful for:

• The fact that it's Friday and pay day
• I got a little extra in my paycheck from my raise
• Having my shuffle at work
• That we have money saved in three different savings accounts and they are all growing
• For feeling more alert than I've felt for several days
• For hearing back from Glumac engineering that they don't have a position that fits my skills, because at least I know and can move on
• For finding a number of jobs I can apply to over the weekend
• For it being Trish's last day
• For Tim, for always being there and always helping to lift me back up

no go on the build-a-job

The engineering company wrote back that they don't have any openings that fit me. At least they wrote back, so I don't have to wonder.

I've been really tired lately, more so than usual, sleeping a lot, and not working on my projects as much, and Tim and I both wonder if this job isn't making me depressed, because those are certainly the early signs of depression. I haven't felt like myself for a while, like i haven't been feeling up, or bubbly or playful like I normally do. And I know the job affects me, but I think it is affecting me even more than I thought. And that is definitely not good, and I don't like that I've become the person who never has anything positive to say about their job.

Tim just sent me a bunch of job links, so I will apply to them this weekend, some are writing, some are editing, some are HR, but I clearly need to get out of here as fast as I can.

I miss me, and I have to get back to feeling like I used to.

operation: rescue vacation

Dimitri's dad called us this morning (unfortunately, he called at 6:30 and asked for Tim by his full name, so I was a little rude to him, I thought he was a telemarketer, but then after I hung up, I realized who he was, and when Tim called him back, he explained. Lol) to say that Dimitri needs a kick in the pants, pretty much.

Dimitri is going through a divorce, and he's back living with his parents. He's basically been working himself to death, and his parents are going to force him to take a vacation and get out of the house (Dimitri works for his parents' company). When Dimitri's dad asked how the divorce was going, Dimitri responded he didn't care. Clearly he does care.

Dimitri's dad asked us if we would be able to go on a trip fairly soon, someplace fun, maybe Mexico. Dimitri's dad even offered to help pay for our expenses, since we weren't expecting to go on a vacation, but he thinks Dimitri really needs a change of scenery. So, we are going to figure that out fairly soon.

I think it would be great for all of us, for Tim to spend time with D, for D to get out of the house, and for me to get away from work and clear my head.

Stay tuned!

thinking over...

My new favorite song, Thinking over, by Dana Glover. Not only does she have a fabulous voice, but the song speaks to me, because I feel I am at a career crossroads as I decide where I want to go next, what will make me happy and satisfied, and what direction I want to go in. The song is technically about her deciding whether to accept a marriage proposal, but the beginning of the song is what I keep singing.

"I've been searching for reason, and I'm running out of time
I can feel that it's the season
Time to make up my mind

And I can't really tell ya what I'm gonna do
There are so many thoughts in my head
There are two roads to walk down
and one road to choose"

instead of build-a-bear...

build-a-job!

I looked at the places I found in Portland Monthly to see what job openings they had, and I didn't find any open positions I'm a match for.

But. One of the companies has on their job opening page a letter from the head of the company, that he's been known to make up new jobs if people don't fit what is posted but he likes their skill sets. So I'm going to email him, send him my resume, and sell myself as a generalist extraordinaire, who can do all kinds of things they probably haven't even thought they have a need for (internal communications, marketing, pr, sales presentations, hiring, project management, etc). And...there can't be any competition for it! This will be a fun challenge. :)

the world needs more hugs

I totally love this

Hooray for happy hugging people!

9 leads

Just went through the Portland Monthly 20 best places to work in Portland list, and I found 9 I am at least going to check out and look for job openings. And if there aren't any now, I will bookmark them and keep checking back.

They all have great benefits. Most are environmentally conscious. All seem to have happy employees, as evidenced by their low turnovers, and they all really treat their employees well. They sound like places where I would find what I've been lacking...working with people who are happy, who enjoy what they do, and working for a company that actually cares about its employees.

Let the job search game begin...I'm ready!

bizzee weekend

Friday night, Patrick and Sarah came over and we went to a moroccan restaurant, the first time I've been to one. You walk in, and the walls are dark red, with a curtain over the door, oriental rugs on the floor, and low tables with low purple couches and low red stools. The atmosphere was great. There was even a belly dancer, who was very sensual. I would have loved to watch her more, but it was hard while trying to have a conversation. Unfortunately, the food was the worst part of it. It wasn't bad, I just didn't care for it all that much. Tim said he's had better moroccan food.

Saturday morning, Amy came by and we went to my outdoor exercise class. We did hill repeats and lots of pushups off the bridges and lunges up the hills. Great workout. I slept horribly Friday night, so came home and slept for about three hours before roller derby. Yesterday, the day just disappeared, even though I only did grocery shopping and laundry. I really wish weekends were three days instead of two, it just seems like two is never enough.

Keith Olbermann is my hero -- or a great editorial on Bush

This is excellent. I love that Keith Olbermann is saying this stuff, and not backing down. People need to hear it.

roller derby!!

We went to our first roller derby match last night, it's fairly popular in Portland, and it was soo much fun. It's all women teams, everyone has great, crazy stage names -- Sharon Hate, Soul Train, Madame Bumps a lot, Fire Crotch, Apocolipstick, etc. It was the grand championship, with the High Rollers going up against the Break Neck Betties, and the Guns N' Rollers facing the Heartless Heathers.

We went with Lisa and Steve, and it was such a party. It attracted everyone from parents with kids to people who dress up in trashy roller derby costumes to everything in between. The first match, between the High Rollers and the Break-neck Betties was kind of lame, it was slow and not well played. And then when the other teams started, it got so much better. These girls are great skaters, we ended up rooting for the Heartless Heathers, who won, but they only had a few point lead throughout the entire match. Everyone goes crazy when their team scores, and we were all in the stands screaming and cheering for the Jammer, the girl who scores the points, to skate faster, and cheering more when they hit girls from the other team. Such a riot.

www.rosecityrollers.com

They are having tryouts in the middle of the month, for the Fresh Meat team. I totally want to try out!