now a grey's anatomy girl

I always liked Patrick Dempsey when he was young and nerdy, and he has definitely improved with age. Started watching Grey's anatomy last week, and it is fun. More soap opera than medical drama, but better than what ER has been for years.












Other shows and current TV crushes:
Ali Larter in Heroes










Nathan Fillion in Firefly

"we're not special. We're Japanese!"

Ha! We watched the premiere of this cool new show last night, called Heroes. It is an x-men rip off, but it is interesting. That quote was one of the lines from the show, and I just loved it :)

the most reliable alarm clock

I don't know how she does it, but Myra manages to wake up at the same EXACT time every day...6:53. Granted, this is better than 6 a.m. But still, every day, same time. Wag wag, lick lick. At least she is a friendly, cuddly alarm clock.

Stolen from mik

IF YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST,
I want to know 28 things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously on my list, so let me know with whom I am friends!

Part I
1.Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:

Part II
1. Do we know each other outside of Blog?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Will you repost this so i can fill it out for you

I just applied at adidas!!

I have a great feeling about this. The timing is right. It is exactly the job environment I have been putting out into the universe that I want. I really like my cover letter, and it was really easy to show how my skills can relate to an hr position.

Fingers crossed, this would be GREAT. It was listed as the number one best place to work in Portland, according to Portland monthly magazine.

New mantra:

I am ready to find my perfect new job, where the employees like their jobs, enjoy coming to work, where the company supports and encourages their growth, where there is good pay and good benefits, where the work is fun and interesting and challenging, where there is a good culture. I am ready to find my perfect new job.

cleanliness is next to godliness

Or so proclaims the natural multi-purpose cleaner I bought today from Trader Joe's. I have to say, I really like this cleaning product. I'm not one to normally rave about cleaning stuff, but this stuff made everything look good, all without the nasty chemical smell.

Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who always has a clean house, who cleans up every day, because I really love when the house is spotless. But having Myra means there is always hair on everything, and I just never take the time to vaccuum every day. And after dinner, I just never feel like cleaning up the kitchen, so I wake up in the morning, and the kitchen still looks like a mess, and blah blah blah. But for today, the house looks spotless. Washed everything down, used the floor vaccuum, dry swiffered, wet swiffered, put away all the laundry, scoured the bathroom. And it usually lasts for a day or two, where I clean up all the time, and then...it just goes away.

Oh well.

lame pirate festival but it got my mind off work

So, I had planned to go to the Pirate festival with Lisa and Tim this weekend, but Lisa had a friend in town and didn't know when she could get to the pirate festival. So Tim and I went and planned to meet them there.

It was disappointing, and definitely not worth the $15 admission. There were only three food vendors, an ice cream place, a hot dog place or salvador molly's, the local restaurant that offers "pirate cuisine." I was very glad I had lunch before we went over ther.

It was hot, and since it was on the river, it was fairly muggy and very buggy. We've had a couple days of rain in the past week, and the ground was soggy. The music was ok at first, but very much geared to kids. There were only a few vendors, and they all had really cheesy stuff. We actually called Lisa and said she shouldn't bother going, because there wasn't much to do.

I think part of the problem is that these dress-up festivals are really only fun for people who like to dress up in these kind of costumes (I'm sure there was some crossover from the fairy festival) and believe in these pretend lives. And that's not me, and I just have to remember that for future festivals. In general, they aren't as much as we think they will be.

But it got my mind off work, and my general frustration there. After we left, we stopped at a running store, and Tim talked to them about the pain he has in his achilles tendons when he runs. They were great there, they knew exactly what he needed, they had him try a pair on and watched him run, and then knew what he needed to try on for a different pair. They said he might still need custom orthotics but think these will correct his pronation and make it so his feet and tendons don't hurt. Then we wandered around Rejuvenation Hardware, a great store with tons of cool light fixtures, and bathroom fixtures and such, and it was just fun to think about things we would want in our house.

Then home to watch gilmore girls. So, a decent Saturday. :) Yarr.

work made me cry again

I've worked at jobs that were stressful, where my bosses lied to me or about me. But this job. I've come home on numerous times in tears, or so angry that I had to just go for a run, run the anger and hurt out, run it out in sweat and pushing my body hard.

But yesterday. I felt attacked in front of the head of the hospital, in front of service line business directors, my team. For stuff beyond my control. For taking on work that wasn't mine to help the department out, to help my boss out, but in turn that work kept me from doing what I was hired to do. One of the service line directors sat there in this meeting and said he was unhappy with his Web site and how he doesn't feel it's ready for the public. When the marketing person in our group who manages his stuff asked him what his problem with the site was, he said there weren't as many conditions and treatments up on the site as he wanted. He said he gave that content to ME and Kathleen and it seems like we don't have enough resources to do all the work.

That's true. We don't have the resources we need to do all the work. And we don't have the technical skills to fix our Web site, because we've lost our Web manager, and I've been filling that role as best as I can, and trying to manage our Web consultant to get Web content up. But you fucking :asshat:, how do you think it makes me look when you say in a meeting with the head of the hospital that you gave me content and it's never gone up on the Web site? When the head of the hospital doesn't know me, doens't know how many directions I've been pulled in? It just makes me look like I'm not doing my job. :rant:

And why did you deliberately not mention that it's only four items you are waiting for, and that your site went live when you fucking told us you wanted it live, and you already have more content than our other service line's web site that we built out. :complain:

I kept it together till I was back in my office, then lost it with my coworkers. Kathleen was trying to say that Mark was attacking her, was trying to attack Trish (boss who is leaving), that he was just trying to show that we do need more resources, because he wants to make a power play now that our boss is leaving. But I told Kathleen it didn't feel like that when Mark is saying he gave the content to me and it's not up. Kathleen called Mark to tell him how upset I was, and he tried to get on the phone with me to explain. I walked out of the room, I couldnt' talk to him.

Mark comes running over, and when he saw me in tears, you could tell he felt like a total fucking worm. He tried to say that he knows I'm doing the best I can, that he knows I'm pulled in five million directions. Oh really Mark? I tell him all the stuff I'm working on, and how bad it makes me feel to hear someone say I'm not delivering what I'm supposed to, because I know I have stuff on my to do list that I'm just not getting to.

I'm done. It is NOT acceptable for my job to make me cry. It is NOT acceptable to go into a meeting told ahead of time that things could get nasty. It is NOT acceptable and I'm done with it.

I've been looking for jobs, somewhat casually, I've applied to a few jobs here and there, but because I didn't want to job hop, I haven't been looking as hard as I could. But this is affecting me and Tim, because he has to see me come home in tears, or pick me up late, or have me come home so angry I can't do anythign but run. And none of that is ok. So now...job searching is my new part time job. I'm going to look into freelancing, I'm going to contact the agencies we work with, and I'm going to just apply for everything, because I need to get out.

hooray, I will be helping a woman with a children's book!

I'm going to be getting a visit from Rufus and Lucy

http://www.rufusandlucy.com/blog.html

http://www.rufusandlucy.com/us_tour.html

It sounds like such a fun project! I'll take pictures of them around Portland, and maybe we could take them on a trip to the coast or to the waterfalls or Mt. Hood, one of the last fall trips we do.

And it is also cool that I get to help another children's book writer :)

When Rufus and Lucy arrive, I will post their adventures here.

hm. interesting

tim and i started talking about career stuff last night. The conversation started because Tim said what do you really want to do? And the answer is write children's books. But since I've been writing every work day for more than seven years, it doesn't leave me a lot of desire to do more writing when I get home, other than journalling, which is very different from writing something I would want to get published. So, Tim and I sat down to figure out other jobs I have skills for, that would not be as a writer.

One of the things that kept surfacing is how good I am at interviewing people, and how I ask people questions others don't. In fact, this was a skill highlighted on my performance review, because I pretty much led the interviews for the graphic designer, and I always got more information from the candidates than the others in the group did.

So, now I'm thinking of looking into recruiting or possibly working at a college helping kids figure out what they want to do after school, something else I'm good at. I have to admit, I'm really intrigued by the idea of a non-writing job, because I never really thought about anyting in a different field. And I really think that if I'm not writing all day, every day during work, it will be a lot easier to come home and write what I really want to be writing.

And also, the competition for writing jobs here is intense, I've applied for stuff that I pretty much AM the job description and never got even a call for an interview. I think if I go in a different direction, I might have more luck.

hmmm.

friends, shopping, napping = a better me

So, the theme of this weekend was friends and sleeping. Went to my Wellness in the Woods class with Amy, and went for coffee with her after the class. Came home and slept for three hours.

Yesterday, I met Ava for tea at the Tao of Tea and talked to her for about an hour and a half. Had some of the best hummus and pita I've had for a while, soo good. Then as soon as I left Ava, I called Lisa, and we went shopping. We went to DSW, got a great pair of brown bitch boots, and then went to the outlets and I got two new skirts and a sweater. Not a lot, but at least I started getting some of the fall stuff I needed. Lisa is apparently one of the few people I can shop with. Had a great time. Came home, reheated a casserole, and then all three of us fell asleep at 7. I pretty much went to bed for the night, tim got up at 8:30.

so even though I didnt' get anything done, I feel better. Last week was a hell of a week.

the perfect nap

So, this week has been more than a little draining, what with the drama and fallout from Trish giving her notice, being really busy and just dealing with the emotions from everything at work. Today, I did my outdoor class, and I think it was what I needed, a lot of physical exertion, and a chance to calm down, breathe and get back to feeling more centered.

I went to the class with Amy, and we had scones at Pappacinos after the class. I came home, talked to Tim for a while, made lunch and went to take a nap. I was OUT. Dead asleep, comfortable, didn't move. I slept for three hours, which I clearly needed. I feel like between my class and my nap, I left the week behind me and got rid of bad, lingering negative energy. I love naps like that, where I wake feeling refreshed and energized. Ahhhhhh.

my boss gave her notice yesterday

Trish called us all into the small conference room and told us she's giving 30 days notice. She's starting a new job, which actually sounds like it will be a better fit for her.

Now the question is...what happens to our group? We still don't have Trish's boss replacement, which means that the VP of the hospital would oversee us but he doesn't have much time. Will they keep our group intact? Will they roll us under the university side? Will Sue become our temporary boss? I know Kathryn and Kathleen really don't want to work under Sue, they don't like her, and they don't work well with her. And as she doesn't have a marketing focus, I can understand why. I know I work well with Sue, so I am not worried about that.

I know it means I won't have to be project managing the children's hospital, because I'm already at the limit of what I know and what I can do, and most of the questions the business director of the hospital asks me, I have to defer to Trish. However, I don't think we'll be able to hire a new Web person, with no one that they would report to, so I will probably have to continue to manage the Web stuff.

It will be interesting to see what comes of this. I'm not worried, just curious.

five years ago...

Five years ago today, I was getting ready for work (I was a reporter at the time) and my then boyfriend was listening to Howard Stern, when Gary on the show said that a plane just hit the world trade center.

No one believed him at first, but then they started talking about the smoke they could see. My boyfriend and I turned on the news, and as we were watching, the second plane hit, but for a while, people thought the news was showing the first plane hitting again. They kept playing it over and over, until it started to seem both real and unreal at the same time. We watched the buildings come down, and I felt like I was watching a movie. Then we heard about the plane hitting the pentagon, and all I could say was we're under attack, we're under attack.

Work called, and my boyfriend (a news photographer) and I had to go in and start working on this story. I drove in, listening to the news, afraid of what else I would hear, wanting to just cry and shake. I remember thinking how odd that the weather was so perfect, when such horrifying things were happening.

One of my first assignments for 9/11 was to go to a college down the street from the paper and start talking to kids about how they felt. They were freaking out, I was freaking out. And then the paper started getting calls about people who were on the planes, because we were right outside of Boston. And I had to go and talk to these families. I had never hated my job as much as I did then. And then we started getting timelines, and I felt terrified all over again.

It was a day that changed my life, that changed our country, that shattered so many people. And today...I feel like some people have forgotten in a way, they don't remember how it felt, they don't seem to care anymore.

mellow and crafty

Pretty cool and very mellow weekend.

Friday night, Lisa invited us to the Moonwatching event at the Japanese Garden, and I'm so glad we went. It's one of the few times that the Japanese Garden is open at night. You walk up the path to the garden (located in a huge forest on a hill overlooking the city), and the path is all lit with little lanterns. You get to the garden, follow more lantern-lit paths out behind the house...and there is the moon, HUGE and yellow and right over downtown. It was just gorgeous. Someone was playing Japanese flute, and we just sat out for over an hour, talking to Lisa's boyfriend Steve and watching the progress of the moon. They had miso soup and this very good nutty green tea. It was just a great way to unwind and see the city in a new way.

Saturday, I did my outside exercise class, and it was much tougher this week, but it was great. We did a lot of hills, and I was the lead runner for most of it. Then since we could use the covered porch, we did more pilates, and I love how it connects me to my body and stretches everything out.

After that, I went to a scrapbooking store down the street, bought a bunch of new markers and fall stickers! Then it was grocery shopping and hanging out with the boy. We went out to Bridgeport pub for dinner, and I think we are taking that restaurant off our list, we haven't been really happy with the food there for the past few times.

Sunday was my crafty day. Tim was watching football all day, so I pulled out all my card making stuff and made a bunch of fall cards and then journalled. It was great! I'm really happy with how this batch came out.

"the glue that holds everyone together"

My boss said that about me today. Really blew me away.

Backstory. I have been feeling scattered and overwhelmed at work lately because I've been doing more and more project management, which is new for me in some ways.

We have several big projects going on right now. A new ad campaign we are launching. A new Web site we are launching, and mini microsites we are launching to go along with our campaigns. I've been project managing all of the Web stuff, making sure our group reviews everything in a timely fashion, compiling all the feedback, getting it to our vendor on time. I've started "running herd" on my team on our ad agency stuff as well, making sure people get the things to the vendor that they need when they need it. Compiling multiple edits into one document for our vendor. In addition to that, I'm project managing our children's hospital marketing initiatives, and as my boss has been out a lot in the past few weeks taking vacation time, I've been trying to do that on my own, the first time I've done something like that, and keeping things moving forward. Did I mention I'm supposed to be the writer, and have no marketing training, I've just been thrown into, learning as I go. (my poor writing pile is growing)

I was in a meeting with my boss, our ad agency reps, and the business director of the children's hospital today, and at the end, our account executive at the ad agency said to me that "(I'm) doing a kick ass job keeping things on track and getting all the information they need." I know I blushed, and I thanked them, saying I've been feeling scattered and like I am barely staying on top of things, so I'm glad they are finding what I'm doing to be helpful.

My boss chimes in, saying "(I've) been doing that in a lot of areas, and I may feel scattered but I am the glue that is holding everyone together right now."

Wow. I'm really honored and happy that they see that. And it's really nice to get that kind of recognition, especially since I've felt like I've been drowning and no one has been noticing. And I'm proud of myself.

proud of my body

Today I had another Wellness in the Woods class, which I just love. It really helped clear my head from a crazy day, but even more than that, it really connected me to my body and made me proud of myself.

We did hill/trail runs and I felt great and ran the hills without stopping. I felt strong at the end of the run. We did ab work, on a mat on a hill, facing up and we had to be scooped in our stomachs, balancing while we pulled one leg in and pushed it out and repeated on the other side. I could do all of it, and didn't quit even though it burned. We had to hold side twists, doing 30 seconds on each side, and I didn't quit or stop.

We did sort of pull ups, and even though I had to stop and rest, I started doing it again. Then we did yoga, and I was more flexible than I thought and could hold poses without too much difficulty. At the end, we did deep stretches, and breathing exercises, and it was great to connect to my body like that, really aware of how I am feeling.

I can tell how much stronger I am now, and my attitude is better now about my body. I am not a size four anymore, I am a size six, and I think that is my natural/ideal size, and the only time I was a size four was when I was running all the time, and it was really hard to maintain. I'm not as lean as I was then, but I am more muscular, more defined, and I am learning to like my body more, especially the more I see what it can do. I still feel jealous when I see girls/women who are so skinny and lean, but I know I can't realistically obtain or maintain that look. I know there are certain stores that cater to girls/women who are very straight and narrow, and I have some curves, so those clothes will never fit me correctly. Since it depresses me to try on clothes in those stores, I just won't go in there anymore.

interesting and accurate personality test

My Personality

Neuroticism	0
Extraversion	48
Openness To Experience	71
Agreeableness	74
Conscientiousness	87

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report MySpace Surveys, MySpace Codes and MySpace Layouts by Pulseware Survey Software

a great hike

We had planned yesterday to do something with Lisa and Steve, probably go for a hike with them.

Lisa called this morning and was going to go get her hair highlighted, and between how long that would take and the fact that she had some chores to do, we decided to switch to having dinner instead.

So Tim and I dropped the Mutt off at daycare, and headed out to the Columbia River Gorge. It was a great day for a hike, sunny but not too hot in the woods, with a nice breeze. We did the Horsetail Falls hike, about a 4.5 mile hike where you get to see four different waterfalls. It was great, and I can tell how much better shape I'm in now, compared to the last time we went hiking in the gorge last year. It was such a great way to spend the afternoon.

We came home and found out from Lisa that Steve already had plans, so we rescheduled dinner to tomorrow night and the boy, puppy and me all crashed. A great day all around.

don't believe the packaging

Friday night, I went to my friend Ava's house to watch a movie, we both decided we were in the mood for a comedy, nothing that required a lot of thought.

She picked up The House of Yes with Parker Posey, Tori Spelling and Freddie Prinze Jr, and Bewitched, which I won't watch because I hate Will Ferrell.

So, the back of the House of Yes describes it as an outrageous comedy with edgy humor, and the longer the guests are in the house, they learn all the family's hilarious secrets.

I have never watched a movie that this was less true. It was sick, disturbing and not funny at all. It was all about these twins who are incestual with each other, and the male twin has just come back home with a fiancee, and the female twin wanted to kill her, and instead, made the other brother sleep with the fiancee. The incestual twins pretend to be jackie kennedy and jfk on the day he was shot, before they have sex, the mother killed the father.....it went on and on and was seriously one of the more sick movies I've watched.

Decidedly not funny, edgy humor or not.

productive weekend so far

All of the stuff I had to do this weekend is done.

Yesterday, I got up, menu planned for the week, took Myra to school, went to my exercise class, went grocery shopping, and picked Myra up from school. Came home, made lunch, then the boy and I headed out, got new dog food for the Mutt, returned Tim's guitar amp that he bought but didn't like and went out to the mall for a bit.

I've been in such a hoarding mood lately, I've been saving and saving and really not buying anything, but I finally spent some on myself, even if just a little now. Bought new lipstick and mascara from origins, and Breathe Comfort warming scrub from Bath and Body works. It was fun to buy stuff for myself again.

Today, I went for a run, did total gym, vacuumed, ran the floor sweeper, swiffered, mopped the floors, scrubbed the bathroom, did all the laundry (and actually put it all away LOL), ran the dishwasher and called my mother.

And now I have two more days off to enjoy and not feel like there's stuff I have to do.

Hooray!