Last day of vacation...

Last official day of vacation...or unemployment, however you want to look at it. And I think I will soon be a bike commuter! We are very near a bike trail that goes up to downtown Durham, and it's easy to get to my Duke office building from there. Tim would have to drive me maybe a mile or two to the trail head, since there is no shoulder on the road or bike lane, but then it would be an easy 10 mile ride or so.

I'm thinking of getting something like this -- a nice commuter bike that will be comfy and fun to ride on. Nothing like Bianca, the wonderful Bianchi road bike I used to have when I was with Mark, but I'm not intending to put those kind of miles on a bike again. When I had Bianca, Mark and I would often go out for rides of 30-70 miles. I actually biked a century (100 miles in one go) on her. Now, I want a bike I can take on bike trails and bike paths, nice, easy rides.

And today, we are getting new phones (no, not the fun, snazzy iphone, just a new verizon phone). It's weird to be getting new regular cell phones on a day when even the mayor of Philadelphia is caught camping for the most anticipated phone. Maybe someday, when the prices drop to a reasonable level! lol. We are actually going to wander by an apple store tonight, to see how crazy people are getting over the iphone. Can you imagine people getting this excited for a new microsoft product, like a Zune phone? I don't think so...

one week till...

I'm employed again.

I've been freelancing since November. I haven't had any work at all since April, and that was only six hours for the month. I haven't had to get up or be on a schedule for months and months.

And you know what? I am so ready to not be on vacation mode anymore, ready to actually get up every morning and go to work. I've been really, really bored. And now I know exactly how little you can do, and I'm ready for a change. And it will be really, really fantastic to have money return to normal and actually start building our savings again.

Plus, as much as I've loved being home with the boy and Myrawonderpup, I think it will be really good for me and Tim to not be together literally 24/7. I will really miss having the pup with me all day though.

On to new adventures!

Where in the world is Kelly Sandiego (a la Carmen Sandiego)

So, it's been more than a month since I posted last. Last time I checked I hadn't fallen off the face of the earth, but it's been a whirlwind here.

Since I last posted, I went to visit North Carolina and liked it. The area felt like home, more so than Portland ever has. While I was there, I had an interview with Duke for a writer position. Came home and had a week of phone interviews and editing tests with another company. My best friend from college came out for almost a week. I've had more follow up with Duke and the other company. We found an absolutely adorable house to rent that is in the perfect location and seems very cozy.

And then packing started...because we are moving, next week actually. Yes, it came up that fast. It was primarily a financial decision, since I'm not working much, we were having to dip into our savings for some expenses, and we figured it made sense to move sooner rather than later.

As much as I can't believe we are moving AGAIN (This will be our fourth move in two years, and our second cross country move in two years), I'm looking forward to starting a new adventure in Durham.

And my job situation has improved in leaps and bounds. I was officially offered the Duke job, and I have a six-hour interview with the other place the day after we get into town. And yesterday I was contacted by another company I had applied to, they wanted to talk to me for two different positions. After feeling invisible and un-marketable in the job market out here, it is so nice to have attention and strong interest from different places in Durham. It just makes me feel like this is where we are supposed to be right now and as a result, we have positive things coming back into our life. It felt like we were fighting and fighting to make things work here in Portland, and it was energy spent in a not-positive way. This feels right now.

jjj..ob interview!

At a little-known place called Duke University.

They called today, I'm going to meet with them next week when I am in NC, about a position as a staff writer at the Clinical Research Institute (part of their medical center).

Very excited. Even if nothing happens, it's ok. We're moving forward again, not staying stuck in one place. And it just feels like further confirmation that NC could be a good thing for us. Portland was good for us when we came here, and working at my last job, despite the challenges, was a really good thing, because it was great experience with a well-known academic medical center. But now Portland isn't where we need to be right now. And I feel like we are headed in a good direction again.

so....I might be going back to my old job...

I filled in for the director of communications last week while she was out of town. The week went really well, no emergencies (fortunately) and just had a chance to work on some projects.

It felt really different from the last time I was there as an employee. It even felt different from one of the last times I went up as a freelancer for meetings. Most of the negative people are gone, in fact only one negative person is left up there. There is a new team up there, and they seem like they work well together.

Now, I know what you are thinking....I left because how bad things were, how it was affecting me, my health, blah blah. Well, yes, that is all true. But there's also the hard-to-find-a-job factor. (But I promise I wouldn't even consider it if it felt the same up there).

So, I just happened to mention it to one of the marketing folks, and she jumped all over it. To the point where she actually called HR and found out they can essentially re-offer me the job, without me needing to apply or anything, I would need to go through required training again.

I called the director of communications to explain what happened, and she said she wanted to talk to me about some new opportunities anyway.

So, we'll see what happens, but it looks like I might be back there soon, which would be good for several reasons. Not the least of which is the fact that EVERY SINGLE MONTH I have to fight to get paid. My invoices won't get processed, or they don't go through, or some nonsense. Case in point, I submitted my january invoice on Feb. 2. I got my check today -- because they forgot to process it, and I had to call, and have the admin call and track it down. Then there's the fact that my freelancing work hasn't been steady, in fact February, I had hardly any billable hours. Not easy to pay bills on that. I would really like having a steady paycheck.

random shyte

I just made my first appt. with a naturopath physician, I want to find out why I'm having skin and digestive problems and try to get it to stop happening. I've been to the derm. doctors twice now when my skin got really out of control with eczema/dermatitis and they just gave me a prescription cream and said to keep my skin moisturized. Since my skin keeps breaking out, there has to be a cause, and that is what I want to treat. I also want to see if my digestion problems are related. I see her next Thursday. Yay!

**************
I am so tired of freelancing, and really really wanting a regular job again (one in particular!)

I never hear from the people I'm working for, that they got my stuff, that it was fine. Half the time, I don't hear back from one of the women when I have questions. I find out by way of gossip that they aren't happy with my rate, the one woman in particular who doesn't answer questions, but she never told me directly or negotiated a rate with me, despite her sending me a snippy email saying she always negotiates rates with freelancers. The snippy email was in response to a very nice email I sent saying I wasn't trying to be expensive and I would be happy to go to a lower rate that they are comfortable with.

And after she sent me the snippy email, I wrote back again really nicely, asking her what she thought about cutting $25 per hour off my rate, because I would rather keep working with her, and then she never wrote back.

And then there's the fact I have to fight to get paid. I only get paid once a month, and I received one check for january but not the other check I was expecting. I just called accounts payable, they don't have it in their system, so I had to write to the new admin girl to see if my invoice i submitted in January was ever processed. If it wasn't processed....gaaaaa.

Blah humbug.

Positive visualization: I get a phone call, with a job offer, in the salary range I told them. I accept the job offer. I am jumping up and down with excitement. I go to work on my first day, very excited.

I'm going to keep thinking about that.

the power of manifesting and visualizing

This is a letter I wrote to the universe months ago, describing the type of work and work environment I wanted.
I want a job:

-- that is fun to go to
-- where the other employees are happy and like their jobs
-- that encourages creativity
-- some place bright and open with lots of light
-- where my talents are recognized
-- where I am a valued member of the team
-- that is close to a good coffee shop
-- that excites me
-- that gives me interesting creative challenges
-- where the employees work closely as a solid, strong team
-- where I can grow creatively
--with a boss who knows how to be a good boss
-- with a boss who supports me in my work and my growth
-- for a company that is respected for the work it does
-- for a company that has good relationships with its clients
-- for a company that respects that I have a life outside of work
-- with coworkers who look forward to coming to work
-- with coworkers who are professional and play nicely together
-- for a company where I can occasionally wear jeans to work
-- for a company that is growing and moving forward
-- for a company that cares about the community and the environment
-- in a location that is close to good veggie food
-- for a company that offers generous vacation time
-- for a company that has a good retirement package
-- for a company that really values its employees

From everything I've heard and seen and how they are handling the interview process, this list is pretty much right on with the company I've been interviewing with.

I believe in the power of manifestation, and I believe in putting your wishes out into the universe and allowing it to come into your life when you are ready. Writing down what you want has power, visualizing what you want has power.

To quote from the Daily Message from the Universe: Thoughts become things. Choose the good ones.

Exactly.

Interview morning

Woke up feeling refreshed (rather rare for me) and happy and excited and in a good frame of mind.

I'm listening to Rose Cousins, read my morning bloggies, checked in at the Din, and had my coffee (now with Silk french vanilla creamer -- actually tastes like vanilla and not like chemicals, which is how International Delight tastes to me now).

I went through most of my wardrobe last night trying to find something to wear, we settled on a long black skirt with roses, a black sweater, bitch boots and my hair up in a clip. I still need to buy a bunch of new clothes, a lot of my stuff is either outdated or looking kind of well worn (not in a good way) or is just not a good look for me. Example, most of my shirts are short, coming only to my waist, which makes me look really short and thick-trunked. But the outfit we picked out works, and I won't be worried about my clothes during the interview, which is the important thing.

I have a good feeling about today.

I've put in my best effort

So, I did the editing test to the best of my ability. After I sent it, I noticed I missed at least one thing, but overall, I think it shows I know how to edit, how to copy edit and how to write headlines and teasers.

And now I just have to wait to see if they want to hire me. I still feel pretty good about my chances.

Calling on the editing gods...

Job prospect called me today, asking if I would mind completing an editing test for them. I have till tomorrow to do it.

I haven't done an editing test in a while, but I'm not too worried about it. I know most of the stuff I already have to fix.

It's exciting. And it makes me think I might (hopefully!) get a job offer sometime soon.

Fingers crossed!!

From Pretty Damn Cool to Really Fecking Sweet!

One day after getting recruited for a web writer position, writing for healthcare consumers about wellness and preventive approaches to health (which I love and find really fascinating), I GET AN INTERVIEW!!

I submitted my online application (pain in the ass system, and I hate that you have to manually enter all the information that is on your resume even if you attach your resume, but whatever), and called the HR woman to let her know I submitted and to see if she needed any writing samples.

I get back from taking a walk around the 'hood with the Boy because I was feeling kind of unfocused and not work-like (something that has been happening a lot more lately), and come home to find two messages from the HR lady, one of which is they want to set up an interview!!

I have an interview Tuesday at 11 a.m. I am so psyched!

Oh, and side note, more confirmation from the universe that it's time to move away from freelancing -- one of the agencies that I submitted my stuff to had said before the holidays that I would be a good fit for their clients and then never heard back from them. I heard from them today that they are flooded with copywriters, but they will keep my name active because I am still a good fit. So, another freelance route went away, at almost the EXACT time that I submitted my online application to this new place.

Yeah, I love how the universe works. I really do.

bounce bounce bounce

From worse to bad to better to Pretty Damn Cool!

My skin is a complete mess. NOTHING is helping. I look like I was released from some camp where they keep skin weirdos. I was crying after I showered yesterday, because I hurt and I was itchy and ugly, and nothing was making any difference.

To try and help improve things, we bought two warm mist humidifiers (which are going back, they don't generate enough moisture) and Benadryl and washed our sheets in our old Arm and Hammer detergent, thinking maybe the new method stuff was making me worse.

I know most people who take Benadryl get really really tired. I get the complete opposite effect. I took two benadryl, thinking it would help with the itching, and maybe it wouldn't keep me up that much. Was I wrong. I was even itchier, and I could not stay still. I was awake easily past 2 a.m., feeling like I was going to crawl out of my skin and lose my mind at the same time.

Transition from worse to bad

I get up this morning, and decide I will call for an appointment with a dermatologist. But, I can't go to see the dermatologist until I pay a medical bill that has gone to collections (I just kept putting off paying it, stupid yes).

Transition from bad to better.

So, I realize the universe wants me to get rid of my last bad debt -- something I need to do for us to buy a house, and something I need to do for my own mental health (I hate knowing these small bills were out there). I had been planning on paying it when I get paid in two weeks, but we have the money, it gets it off my credit report, and I can get a dermatology appt. So now, all my bad debt is gone, and everything else is in really good standing.

I call back Dermatology, telling them the debt is cleared, and I can get an appointment for today (unfortunately with the really old doctor I saw last time, but if I didn't see him, I'd have to wait a week to see someone else). So I'm hoping I will find out 1. What is wrong with me. 2. How to make it go away and 3. How to keep this from happening again.

Transition to better to Pretty Damn Cool!

While I was taking care of my dermatology and medical bill stuff, I get a call from a health insurance place. It turns out, it was from their hiring department. I had applied for a freelance writer position with them AGES ago, well before I ever actually started freelancing. They wanted to know my current situation and if I was looking for full time work, because they have a Web content editor position that opened up that looks to be a good fit for my skill set.

Um, holy shit!

So, I have an improntu interview with the HR person, talking about my background, why I left my last place, and talking about my web writing experience. They are looking for someone with five years web writing, but I think I made a good case that while I only have 3 years web writing, I have done a lot of it, know healthcare inside out and more importantly, know how to write healthcare web content for consumers.

I have to apply for the position online, but the HR person seemed to like my answers and my experience. So, we shall see. But to be recruited completely out of the blue, just a few days after I decide that I have to get a regular job again, I would like to say a big Thank you to the Universe. Yes, I'm listening.

A new direction

Friday, Tim and I had a long talk about what I should do career-wise. Keep freelancing? Get another job? I like some aspects of working from home, but not the uncertainty of when projects end. And sometimes, I really don't feel motivated working at home (other days, I work until midnight lol).

But then we went to talk to my bank about home stuff. What would we need to put down, what kind of mortgage could we consider, would we be able to get a mortgage even though our credit isn't perfect, that kind of stuff.

And talking to the bank helped in several ways. One, it looks like we could get a mortgage, even though we don't have perfect credit. But, and this is more important, until I am self-employed for two years, my income doesn't really count. We can't buy a home on just Tim's income, so that means I have to go back to a "regular" job.

There are lots of good things about this. I don't look at the freelancing as a mistake or failure, but instead a good experiment. It really helped me to clear my head, it gave us extra money to put toward the house, and it got my name out there to some people for other work that I might be able to pick up after I get a regular job again.

And the good thing is that as long as I can show regular income from when I left to when I get a new job, it looks like I've had steady income.

So another new adventure will begin!

i love...

when I make my boss happy. One of the projects I am working on for her is rewriting the smoking cessation brochure for the hospital, and she wanted me to create note tablets as well -- extra information that a doctor could discuss with a patient trying to quit smoking.

I gave it to her last night, asking if what I had done was what she had in mind. She wrote back saying it was exactly what she wanted.

Awww yeah.

aww yeah

Just got more projects from OHSU, one I have to review 19 documents for the children's hospital, and edit it according to the style guide I have, so that will take a bit of time. The other project is pretty short, but I still have a bunch of stuff to do for Sue. I'm going to have a lot of billable hours for this month :)

I'm still trying to find my new normal with working from home. Like yesterday, I worked like a fiend, and today I worked all day but felt like I didn't get much done, like I felt like I couldn't focus, even though I was doing some work. But I suppose I had days like that even when I did work in the office. It just feels different now, because when I worked in the office, I got paid no matter what.

But I do think I am starting to settle in and get used to things more.

Hard to ask for what I'm worth

I just filled out my first freelance invoices, where I had to bill OHSU for the hours I worked on different projects. I have to break out the invoices into marketing and communications, and then by specific project.

I kept track of my hours I worked, but even when I was keeping track of my hours, my natural instinct was to say it took me less time than it did, I think because I thought...they won't think it really took me x hours, even though they weren't expecting me to do everything in an hour. It took me a while when I worked there, so why would they expect that to change?

And then when I had to through for the invoice, and assign hours and dollars for projects, it was hard, I again wanted to sell myself short. "What if they get mad about me charging so much? What if they question it?"

Now, logically I know (and Tim has been reminding me), that I didn't make up my hourly rate on a whim. I was initially going to charge less than what Kathryn's bad freelancer charged (who essentially submitted my notes as her work-- not a finished product). And I got a range from Sue's other freelancer, and I immediately put myself in the very low end of that range.

I don't know why I am uncomfortable to ask for what I am worth, or to charge for the hours I actually worked.

As Tim reminds me, they could possibly get someone a little cheaper, but they wouldn't know the material as well or possibly be as reliable. They also know generally what I'm charging, and Sue especially was surprised I finished one of the projects so quickly, so she certainly wasn't worried about the hours (and she just gave me a ton of new projects, which will require a lot of hours). But it was very weird to bill for my services.

That will have to be something I work on, getting more comfortable charging the hours I work, and getting more comfortable charging what I know is a fair and market rate.

thoughts on working from home

I'm much busier than I thought I would be, which is a very good thing, but it is certainly shattering any illusions I might have had that working from home was easy. I've been pretty much non stop all week, and keep getting more projects.

I absolutely love that I can spend so much time with Myra and the boy. It's nice to see both of them, although Tim and I actually stay pretty separate during the work day. Myra tends to sleep under my desk at my feet, which is a very comforting feeling.

I actually feel very productive, more so than I thought I would, which is also very nice.

One thing that surprises me is that I figured I would have a lot more time/opportunity to clean the house and do laundry, that kind of thing, but I really don't. I actually feel like I have less time to do that, but maybe that will change depending on my projects.

I like the quiet, and it is very nice to not have constant interruptions from coworkers and such.

So, overall rating: first week is going well, I'm starting to feel set up and settled, and I think it will work out really well.

Just 10 minutes

That was all it took for me to feel stressed again at OHSU. I went up today to drop off my contracts, and say hi to everyone. Danielle looked and sounded pissy. Kathleen looked like she was on the verge of crying, and you could see just how thinly she has been stretched, Kelly had a slightly crazed look in her eyes, and I could tell Michele was in one of her bitchy/pissy moods. Until then, I had felt very far removed from all of that, but just 10 minutes there and I was remembering why I left. The very air is toxic and poison with all the negativity there. I was planning on going for a run anyway, but after going up there, I needed to go for a run to clear that stuff out.

Now I like working from home even more. It's sane and calm and not stressful here. And I have a cute puppy who insists on belly rubs. That's not so hard to take.

On a positive note for me, I have work coming out of my ears, Kathleen gave me two projects, Sue gave me a quick project, plus the regular stuff I had already started. It's good to be busy.

My new office is all set up

I cleaned off my desk, organized all my crafty stuff into cool boxes that now live under my desk, and set up my computer on my new work desk. I also set up my calendar with my to-dos, set up folders on my computer for the different projects I'll be working on. I'm sure it makes me a nerd that I love that kind of stuff so much, but I do. I need to get a laptop holder, so I'm not looking down and straining my neck, something like this which we will probably order tomorrow.

I also need a printer stand (we essentially got a free photo/regular printer with the new laptop) and some sort of file cabinet/box that I can put hanging folders in. Otherwise, my small desk will get overrun very quickly.

I'm all ready to start working, and I feel like I will be very productive.

free at last!!!

Yesterday was my last day as an official, full time salaried employee, and like the rest of the week, it was completely crazy. Kathryn left a complete mess for everyone to clean up, so we were scrambling to get that stuff done, Sue was on deadline for Physician's Practice, so I had to write and edit articles for her, I had to organize all my files, finish stuff for Kathleen. I went in at 7 a.m. and didn't leave until after 6 p.m. and I was non-stop all day.

But now I'm officially a contractor, and I am so excited about it. I easily have 40 hours billable next week, I can't even take time off, just dive right into work. Poor Kathleen, when I was leaving, she was saying how much it is going to suck now that I won't be there, since I was the only person who was consistently happy and upbeat and not whining and complaining all the time. "Now I'm going to be stuck with all the complainers." Ding ding ding. That is a huge part of why I'm leaving, because I couldn't deal with the attitude of everyone.

And I talked to Sue, who is thrilled about this arrangement, because she finally gets to do what she envisioned when she created the position for herself, she can do all the strategic stuff, and the emergency communications, and I can take over everything else. I think I can freelance for Sue pretty much as long as I want. Sweeeet.