Happy Blogiversary!

Today is the one year anniversary of when I started this blog. 243 posts in a year, not too bad.

There will be more later, year in review kind of thing, plans for the coming year.

But for now, some pictures of Myra on Christmas morning. She didn't know what to play with first and was happy with all her new toys (several of which she happily destroyed, but most of them are still intact).

the good with the bad

The bad -- Collection agency called today, to collect on the money we owe the first (nasty) apartment we had out here. We broke our lease, and it was worth knowing we might owe money, just to get out of there. And we don't owe them all that much really, I just hadn't paid it, thinking it would go away (foolish I know, it never goes away). I was planning on paying it off in the new year anyway, because I want all the niggling litle debts gone when we go to apply for a mortgage.

The good -- It actually hasn't been reported on my credit report yet. By paying at the end of the month, it stays off my credit report, and the debt is gone, I don't have to think about it.

I actually feel better knowing it is paid, and knowing I won't have to get it removed from my credit report. Now all I have left are some fairly small outstanding medical bills (thank you, former employer, my insurance was awful, even though I worked for a hospital). And then my credit will actually be in pretty good shape (virtually no debt, nothing currently in the negative check mark column).

So, I am looking at this as a healthy way to start the new year.

the waiiii-ting is the hardest part

One more week, and I will get paid, and it will have been seven weeks since the last time I got paid. That is a VERY Long time.

That's been the hardest part about freelancing, the delay in getting paid. My old company, the one I'm freelancing for, is on a 30-day pay cycle. So I submitted my Nov. invoices on Dec. 2, which means they don't have to pay me until Jan. 2, which means I won't have money till probably Wednesday of next week.

Once I get paid, I can pay all of our monthly bills, put a lot of money back into savings, and keep some around as extra in our account to tide us over until my next check. It's just hard right now.

I'm trying to resist the urge to take money out of long-term savings (which we already had to do for T and I to buy presents for each other, and we have already budgeted to replace that money). But that money is for our house. And really, it's only another few days. It's just hard, because now we really can't do anthing until then.

Patience. Patience is a virtue.

and a very merry christmas!

We did it! We waited until Christmas morning to open most of our (wrapped!) gifts. Definitely a first for us.

We were both really happy with everything. T got me a new knife set with really nice knives (they make such a huge difference, it's a lot easier and more comfortable to cut things now), nice baking sheets (it was a very cooking-focused christmas, and I love it), a down lap duvet from Restoration Hardware, new comfywarm slippers, not to mention my pizza stone and nice martini glasses.

He loved his down vest, smartwool shirt and socks, books, new tool cd, popcorn bowl and other stuff.

We bought Myra a stocking full of toys from Petsmart, and put them in her stocking, with one sticking out the top. She was so excited, she had never had so many new toys all at once, she didn't know what to play with first. At one point, she managed to lay on top of most of her hoard. She promptly destroyed the two tennis balls and then defluffed a stuffed reindeer, but she looked very happy while she was doing it. She still has a few new toys left, and she is getting three new tuffy toys from my parents that she can tug on and chew on and not destroy.

I made blueberry oat muffins that were incredibly good, and we watched some of the extras on the Firefly discs. The extras were cool and funny and sad all at the same time, because they had this great show that didn't even get to live for a full season. And now we are getting ready for our holiday casserole (cauliflower, tomato, potato casserole with leek/cheese sauce) and will probably watch a movie.

No stress, no drama, just a nice day for the three of us.

Merry Christmas!

christmas eve will find me...

where I long to be.

What a perfect, very Tim and Kelly christmas eve.

Tim watched football during the afternoon, I did some knitting, then went to Tryon Creek for a long run through the mist and fog and mud, having fun being a little wild mudbeast. Tim wrapped presents while I was gone, we planned what we wanted for Christmas morning (I'm going to make blueberry oat muffins) and christmas dinner, and then opened one present (initially, but T had me open two) each. (We gave Myra one of her presents, a stuffed animal stocking face thing, that she immediately ran off with to kiss and hug).

I had said I wanted to pick up some wine or drinks and get a little buzzed and watch a movie, so Tim had me open one of my presents that related. He got me really cool martini glasses, apple martini mix and apple sugar rim. Mmm! And these are my first alcohol glasses, I feel so grown up lol.

We decided to do pizza and munchies for dinner tonight, prompting Tim to give me another present, even though I kept saying I didn't want to open any more presents. I got a pizza stone! A really nice pizza stone, I love it. I can't wait to use it with homemade dough or Trader Joe's whole wheat pizza dough.

We watched Zathura, which is a really cute, funny movie, and oddly feels like a christmas/holiday movie even though it had nothing to do with christmas.

"What do they eat?"
"Meat."
"Oh, that's good."
"Dude, your meat." :)

Then we decided we had to open stockings as well, and we both loved our stockings. I got Tim a book on how to be a villain, he loved it :) I got a wind-proof umbrelly that has a light on it, so I can actually see where I am walking at night with the mutt.

We had lots of fun, and I can't wait for tomorrow morning for Tim to open his stuff, I had so much fun buying things for him. And of course, I want to see my loot as well.

christmas memories

Growing up, I wasn't allowed to come out of my room on Christmas morning until my parents were up. Some years, my stocking was in my room, so I could open that first before my parents got up. Most of the time, it wasn't, and I would get up (not too early), open my door, creep down the hallway to see what I could see under the tree, without actually going all the way to the tree.

I would start making noise (going to the bathroom, closing my door loudly, etc). Then I'd have to wait until my dad had the camera ready before I could come out, so he could take a picture of me when I first came out. This went on all through high school.

When I got older, high school, college, and older, I didn't have to have a picture taken as I walked down the hallway, but I would come out, talk to my parents, have cinnamon rolls and pretend like I wasn't interested in opening presents. Then when enough time has passed to be acceptable, I'd open my stocking and then presents. Since my dad loves taking pictures, there are pictures of me every year holding up various presents.

Growing up, my favorite christmas album was Wayne Newtown Christmas, on vinyl no less. First side of album one was the best. I remember thinking it was a girl singing when I was younger, because he had a high voice. Anne Murray christmas later became my favorite, and I have a lot of her songs in itunes.

And now T and I get to make our own traditions. I'm looking forward to that, as much as I looked forward to sneaking down my parents' hallway to get a glimpse of what was under the tree.

green & rainy = portland christmas

While it may not look like christmas outside, inside our house it does. We bought our first tree and first ornaments and decorated our tree Friday night. And of course, at the end of decorating the tree, I did my famous conducting of the Trans Siberian Orchestra's Christmas in Sarajevo. Tim's presents and stocking are wrapped and under the tree. We have snowmen decorating a small christmas tree in one corner, and a snowman skating on top of our television. Tim still has to wrap my presents, but it's so nice to have it look and feel like christmas.

Last night, we intended to go to The Grotto, some religious pilgrimage site that has a festival of lights. But it was in a REALLY trashy part of town (along the way we saw strip clubs called Pink Kitty's, X-otic tanning for men, and more total dumps proclaiming hot nude girls), and it was really crowded and looked a little cheesy. So, we decided that instead of paying $14 to look at lights, we would go to the best donut shop in the world, get some donuts and drive around nice neighborhoods looking at lights. Our way was much more fun.

And now we just have to be good and wait till tomorrow to open presents. To quote Inigo, "I hate waiting."

puppy love

Myra usually sleeps at the foot of the bed, either curled up in a ball or stretched out horizontally. Occasionally she will come up by Tim's pillow right after I get into bed, but she usually leaves if I try to pet her too much or try to sleep with my arm on her.

Last night, she came up by tim's pillow, and stayed there, with my arm draped over her. When T came to bed, she had no intention of moving from that spot, so I scooted over closer to her, and T slept on my side of the bed.

It was so sweet, and such a nice feeling to be so snuggled with the puppy.

Then this morning, she lay under my desk with her head about 1-2 centimeters from the wheel on my chair (dog has no sense of self preservation) but it was just incredibly cute.

sad, sad little bank balance

Thank dog T is getting paid tomorrow. We haven't had our bank account this low since I was flying back east every other week for work, or since Salem before I got obsessive about budgeting. A large part is due to our recent trip, eating out while there, presents, etc. But also, I haven't received my first freelancing check yet. From here on out, it should be easier, because I'll have enough to last until I get my next check, but for the first check...our money got strrrrretched.

My last paycheck was Nov. 17, and my vacation pay was only through Dec. 1, so we had most of December on one check and a trip back east. A rather impressive feat, and not one I'd like to repeat too often.

it's beginning to look like christmas...

Wheeeee! T and I just bought our first christmas decorations! We bought some ornaments, and stockings for us and Myrapup.

This is the first time we are actually doing christmas, and I am so excited. Last year, we didn't make it out of the mall before we gave each other stuff. While that was really fun, there was no buildup, and nothing special on Christmas day, at least nothing special that was just for us, we always had my parents on Christmas day. I'm realizing how much I like the buildup, decorating, making our own traditions, buying presents, wrapping them and then opening them Christmas morning.

I am feeling very christmassy now, and I wasn't for a while, and I'm glad it's back.

Tra la la la.

a kinda cool dream...

until the end, when it got downright freaky.

I was speaking in a church, talking about this church in Africa I had visited, and talking about Mary Magdalene (I've been reading a lot about her lately). My parents were there, and my mom kept interrupting and talking over me and not paying attention. (That part is also to be expected, she won't listen to anything that challenges her faith).

The talk was going well for a while, and then I saw a couch/chair moving. I thought someone was pushing it, so I went over to ask them to stop, and no one was there, but there was this wall of energy that pushed me back.

Then I saw this man, all in black, with a black hat, but I soon realized he wasn't real, he was a ghost or a shadow. I got this really negative energy from him, frankly he terrified me.

Then he went out the door, I ran up to it, and it was locked, even though there weren't any locks on the door. I was frantically trying to open it, and I saw him through the door where I was trapped, he was at the top of the stairs at another door, and then he looked back at the door down below where I was, I felt it open or unlock, and then he disappeared. The lights in the church went out and I started screaming to everyone in the church that they had to get out right away, and they had to keep the door open for the person behind them so they wouldn't get trapped.

I woke up feeling scared and unsettled.

Yay.

the joy of myra

I took myra wonderpup out for a walk when the internet guy came, and she was happy, eating sticks, sniffing things.

Then we got close to the school, and she started pulling and pulling to get there. Once we were in then fenced in area, past one of the openings, I let her off her leash and she just SPRINTED to where the other dogs where, butt wagging as fast as possible. She immediately started chasing after balls and toys people were throwing, running as fast as she could, and looking so happy when she caught the toy. When we left, she was panting, but looking very proud of herself. I swear, that dog just grins when she's playing with other dogs or chasing balls. She has to be one of the happiest dogs I have ever known.

And she makes my heart melt on a constant basis.

aww yeah

Just got more projects from OHSU, one I have to review 19 documents for the children's hospital, and edit it according to the style guide I have, so that will take a bit of time. The other project is pretty short, but I still have a bunch of stuff to do for Sue. I'm going to have a lot of billable hours for this month :)

I'm still trying to find my new normal with working from home. Like yesterday, I worked like a fiend, and today I worked all day but felt like I didn't get much done, like I felt like I couldn't focus, even though I was doing some work. But I suppose I had days like that even when I did work in the office. It just feels different now, because when I worked in the office, I got paid no matter what.

But I do think I am starting to settle in and get used to things more.

don't know what you got till it's gone

Ever since we got back, our internet has been slower than slow. Tim did a speed test, and it was coming in at dial up speed, even though we have dsl. If both of us had browsers open (something kind of necessary when we both work from home), it would get hung up. It was too slow for our internet phone service to work properly. We've had to make all our necessary work calls on our cell phones (I can't wait to see our cell phone bill...between work calls and our trip, ouch). Tim couldn't do much of anything because he needs to load newsletters on the internet.

The internet guy came today, and the service into the house was fast, the jack was working fine, he figured out our modem got fried, probably during the storm.

It's so nice to have it working properly again. must. have. internet.

I think we both started going through withdrawal....

where the hell did portland winter go??

Things are officially backwards. It was warmer in Mass all week than it was here before we left and when we got back. It is so cold out my hands start hurting almost immediately (granted it's only low-mid 30s, but for here, that's really cold). Other than the big storm that swept through here when we were in Mass, it's been really dry here.

Hello? Weather gods? We specifically moved here to get AWAY from the cold weather.

Le sigh.

home and recovering

Got home late last night from our Christmas trip back east after many, many delays at both airports (Logan and JFK). I have never been so happy to get into our bed, which I now appreciate even more. Sleeping on our old mattress at my parents hurt our back every night, so we never slept all that well.

Even though the week was really busy, it was so great to see everyone (although it was too much time with my mom toward the end, she was getting to me almost immediately). Spent a lot of time with Mik and Bry, got to see Chris briefly, saw our friends Diane and Mike and Tim got to meet Princess Lily (their 1-year old). Got to see Kris and Jeff (family I always babysat for growing up, and they were definitely my second family. I love them.) and then had a great visit with Rosemary, my college roommate. It's so great to spend time with friends who know everything about you, know your history and sore spots and who you are just always comfortable with.

Today was recovery day, because by the end of the trip, I felt AWFUL. Bloaty, upset stomach, bad skin, splotchy face, severely chapped lips, tired, dehydrated, blah blah. Slept with Myra Wonderpup whenever I was tired, drank lots and lots of the amazing Portland water (I'm convinced that the hard water back east contributed to my skin problems, my stomach problems and my constant feeling of dehydration, no matter how much I would drink). I deliberately had only liquids today (water and protein shakes) to get my body back to normal.

And I know now that good quality skin products are worth EVERY penny. One day washing with Aveda and my skin is looking more normal, and Tim's skin is way less dry than it was in Mass.

As a result, I actually feel human again. Seeing our friends and family is a lot of fun, it just takes a lot out of me! And it's also really nice to be home, and back with the wonderpup. :)

"we are not in a money freefall"

So says Tim after reading my blog, pointing out that while we have eaten out a little bit more, we only missed one regular grocery shopping and have not been that off track budget-wise. And also, we specifically planned to not save and have extra money on hand for exactly this purpose. And we still have plenty of money to finish up the shopping we need to do for early christmas, and have money for back east and blah blah blah. Ok, maybe I was being a tad silly. I'm still in a weird alternating money perspective. I know our money situation is good, so I want to spend some money, but then I freak about spending money. Eye roll at myself.

"I hope you blog about me scolding you for what you blogged about."

And so I did.

freefall

Before I left my job, I was fanatical about saving money and about staying on budget. I had sort of a game with myself to see how much "extra" I could have at the end of a week, before the next time one of us got paid (and this is extra after bills, after putting money aside in savings, after play money, everything). Whatever was extra went into the extra account (which very nicely funded our christmas, minus plane tix).

When I left my job, I cancelled our automatic savings plans (one for ING and one for our savings account), because I knew it would be at least a month, maybe longer before I got my next paycheck, and I figured it made sense to have the extra money available in checking for bills, for our trip, whatever.

I'm still trying to hold on to the "extra money," but lately I feel like I've been in a money freefall -- haven't been going grocery shopping on time, so we've been eating out more, some unexpected stuff came up that I hadn't budgeted for, we needed new clothes, etc. I just wanted more extra until either I got my check or to last until tim's next paycheck (in case mine comes late). I just like knowing that until my check comes, we would have money hanging around if we needed it. And of course, Tim keeps reminding we don't need all that extra, because I've so carefully budgeted for bills, groceries, all of that.

I know it's not bad, and I know I will get back on track when I get my check and can throw a lot into savings. I just feel like I need to get back on track with budgeting, with saving, with eating right (I've been eating fine, I just don't like eating out as much as we have done lately), with cooking and grocery shopping (meal planning for the week, so we aren't going over budget on groceries by shopping for last minute stuff). Apparently, I'm anal-retentive about money. lol.

At that age...

Last night was Stitch n bitch, and towards the end of the night, the conversation turned towards babies and kids. One of the girls' husband wants to try for a baby, my other friend is feeling ready to have kids. The girl whose husband wants to try for a baby is going to be spending time around her nieces and nephews over the holidays, and she said that is the best place for her husband to take her, because "kids in the abstract are sticky and messy, but when they are kids I know, they are so sweet and I love them."

I didn't really say much during this conversation, because I know I'm in the minority with the no-kid thing, and not willing to take on the full-time plus job that is raising kids.

But it got me thinking...I'm at that age now, where more and more of my friends will start having babies, start wanting them, and I feel like I won't have much to talk about or contribute because having a kid takes over your life, it is your life.

Just rambling, I guess.

Warning, freaks ahead

Playing around with Photo Booth on the laptop

Nice Tim and Kelly







Two Kellys, Evil Tim









Tim breaking my brain









Sponge Tim Square Kelly









HELP!! A monster is after me!

Hard to ask for what I'm worth

I just filled out my first freelance invoices, where I had to bill OHSU for the hours I worked on different projects. I have to break out the invoices into marketing and communications, and then by specific project.

I kept track of my hours I worked, but even when I was keeping track of my hours, my natural instinct was to say it took me less time than it did, I think because I thought...they won't think it really took me x hours, even though they weren't expecting me to do everything in an hour. It took me a while when I worked there, so why would they expect that to change?

And then when I had to through for the invoice, and assign hours and dollars for projects, it was hard, I again wanted to sell myself short. "What if they get mad about me charging so much? What if they question it?"

Now, logically I know (and Tim has been reminding me), that I didn't make up my hourly rate on a whim. I was initially going to charge less than what Kathryn's bad freelancer charged (who essentially submitted my notes as her work-- not a finished product). And I got a range from Sue's other freelancer, and I immediately put myself in the very low end of that range.

I don't know why I am uncomfortable to ask for what I am worth, or to charge for the hours I actually worked.

As Tim reminds me, they could possibly get someone a little cheaper, but they wouldn't know the material as well or possibly be as reliable. They also know generally what I'm charging, and Sue especially was surprised I finished one of the projects so quickly, so she certainly wasn't worried about the hours (and she just gave me a ton of new projects, which will require a lot of hours). But it was very weird to bill for my services.

That will have to be something I work on, getting more comfortable charging the hours I work, and getting more comfortable charging what I know is a fair and market rate.

The more things change...

The more they stay the same? Or do they?

I was watching Mona Lisa Smile earlier this week, a movie I really enjoy. It is set in the 1950s, and Julia Roberts is a progressive art teacher at Wellesley. The girls in the movie are all really smart, but they aren't expected to do anything with that. They are all expected to get married and have families. They certainly aren't expected to have a career, and the thought of having a career and a family was definitely not typically considered.

Today, girls are practically expected to go to college and have a career. In fact, stay at home moms get snubbed or discredited a lot today, like they aren't real women or that they are setting back women's rights or something. But despite the fact that there is a much stronger focus on women working and having a career, they are still expected to get married and have kids. Only thing is now they are expected to do both.

Tim and I have been together for 3.5 years, and we've certainly got the "when are you going to get married" question more than once, mostly from my family, although from tim's family, coworkers and friends as well. We've also had the "when are you going to have kids" question raised.

Now, we are definitely planning on getting married, but we are in no real rush to do so. And we are emphatically NOT planning on having kids. There are more and more people who are choosing to take that path, but there is such societal pressure to be married and have a family. I know I personally have been told, "oh, you'll change your mind." I know other women who choose not to have kids get that and more.

So, what has really changed since the 1950s? Today's women are expected to be superwomen, strong career women, great wives, mothers. Why do so many people feel like they are "supposed to" have kids, "supposed to" get married? I really think a lot of people have kids, not necessarily because they want to (of course there are lots and lots of people who really do want kids), but because they feel like that is what is expected. Grow up, go to college, have a career, and then a certain point, you have to start having babies. Some women do it to save their marriage (never a good idea), but I know of lots of women who are on time tables, and a baby is definitely part of that schedule.

It's like society makes it out like you can't be complete unless you do so.

No real point or conclusion here, I guess, just some thoughts.

So, I may actually be 29

But according to the RealAge test, I'm about five years younger (according to my lifestyle, eating and exercise habits, parents, etc.)

I think that is pretty cool. It says I can lower that by exercising more, eating more vegetables (I eat a lot of fruit, but I do think my veggie intake is on the low side). I think that will be one of my new year's resolutions -- eat more veggies (maybe a salad with dinner most nights) and have more calcium (since my mom has osteoporosis, I really need to make sure I get enough calcium. Maybe reintroduce yoghurt every day).

awwww yeah

Mom. Done.
Dad. Done.
Mikki -- not done but i know what i'm getting you beyotch. >:)
Tim -- won't start shopping till after our trip but I have some good ideas.
We found the perfect gift for dimitri, have a good idea for tim's mom, and will get something for the house for john and laura.

This has never happened. ANNNND we'll have money left over from what we set aside for presents and such. Cool.

wild mudbaby

That's what I felt like today when I went to my outdoor wellness class. I was running around the woods, up and down hills, over small bridges, going squish squish squish, kicking up mud on my running tights, in my shoes, on my ankles. It was fun and I liked being that connected to nature and just feeling like a free little wildthing.